Friends where possible not only. But this is also quite possible, thanks to

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To the question of whether it is possible to meet an interesting person you saw on the Internet. Of course you can!

I have several friends whom I met on the Internet. Moreover, there is a friend with whom I had a conversation more than 10 years ago in the middle of the night on ICQ - it would seem that this is a “kindergarten”. Our dialogue lasted all these years, we became friends. Since then we have met many times in different cities and countries. And as a result, I managed to infect him with a love for Berlin, and now he is packing his bags and moving here, and we are discussing where he should rent an apartment, and how we will visit each other. All this is possible.

But let me write the obvious thing, which for some reason many people omit.

It is best seen when you start communicating on dating servers. Have any of you tried to communicate there? Surely everything was done there solely in order to get acquainted and meet. And so you put your photo and description of yourself there, and they write to you. 30 people per day. Imagine that 15 of them write in the first sentence: “Shall we go and have some tea together?” What is your answer? Maybe you wouldn't mind having tea with this person. Maybe he is quite interesting and handsome. But how do you know this? You haven't even exchanged a few words yet! He probably thinks that you’ll go and meet, and then you’ll exchange. But the 14 others next to him think so too. And what will happen if you go to meet with them all, just to find out if you are interested in communicating with them? You can't save enough life!

Therefore, what do they do on such servers instead? Right! They are trying to enter into correspondence. They start a conversation, try to find out some basic things about each other, or try to somehow attract interest. And ideally, the conversation develops, people write more and further, some things appear that are easier to talk about than to write such long letters. And then someone says: “Well, let’s meet and talk!”
And then people meet because at least they have already started something that they would like to develop and discuss. And then - how it turns out. but on at least there was an incentive to go, leave the house, make an agreement, put other things aside for an hour, and go sit with the person.

So - a simple question! Why do readers who invite someone to meet and chat simply omit the simple point that they could first try to somehow introduce themselves in correspondence and start a dialogue? They are like those 15 people who in the first sentence ask: “Shall we go?” And maybe they are quite good and interesting people. But you won’t be able to answer them “Yes, hurray, let’s go.” Because no one can respond to such a “let’s go” from complete strangers by dropping everything, getting up, and going to meet. For objective reasons!

Firstly, there is simply no time for this. No one has!
Secondly, every person has some doubts and fears. For example, I don’t date people who seem inadequate, aggressive, or otherwise make me feel uncomfortable, and that’s normal. That's why I won't say "let's go" until I've exchanged at least a few words with someone. But such an invitation out of the blue is also not the best example of adequacy.
Thirdly - it’s very likely (excuse me, but this option just happens most often) - that there, on the other side of the Internet, is one of those candidates who is not interesting to me in any way, nothing connects us, and he doesn’t do anything is engaged, not interested and not keen, of all the things that interest me. But at the same time, the person most likely wants to get something from me. And this is not a customer, but a person who is clearly trying to get something (even if it’s just time, attention and entertainment) from me for free, “as a friend,” which he is not. Why do I need it? This questioner will not necessarily be such a person. But I feel sorry for an hour of my life to check!

Therefore: if you want to meet someone interesting via the Internet (not just me, this applies to everyone): start the correspondence with something so that the person becomes interested in communicating with you! Get to know each other, strike up a conversation, and make them want to meet you on occasion! It's so easy. There are a lot of people who write me a question on the blog, or some kind of “just a letter”, and from the second sentence they manage to write something that makes me ask them: “Tell me in more detail.” And after a while we do meet, and then communicate with some of them for years. And I know that many terribly famous and busy people meet someone like this and become friends completely spontaneously, although they seem unattainable to many. For example, the celestial Alejandro Jodorowsky is known for meeting some students like this after they wrote him a letter - fans. Or the great Moebius - he also became lifelong friends with some of them, starting with correspondence. Including the artist Fred Beltran - when he was still a teenager, he wrote him a letter and asked how he did some kind of special effect. At the same time, he showed his pictures, which he came up with to draw on top of the figures from Poser. From this they began extensive correspondence, friendship and cooperation.

It seems to me that I wrote terribly obvious things here. But apparently for many they are not obvious, judging by the actions.

Tired of talking to yourself? Are you stuck within four walls and can't go somewhere and find new friends? The Internet is a great place where you can get rid of shyness and easily meet new people from all over the world, find new friends who share your views and interests. Making friends online is not at all difficult, find out how to do it!

Steps

Part 1

Find like-minded people

First of all, find a website. Find some online community, forum or some site where you can leave comments and announcements. Remember, when you come to some social event, you need to somehow find your way around a new place, look around, watch people. Likewise, you will be able to read people's comments and understand how you feel about each of them.

In some online communities, you cannot leave or read comments until you register on the site. Find some information or reviews about this site to see if you should register with it.

Find users who share your hobbies and interests. Once you register on the site, start looking for potential friends. The easiest way to start your search is with those users who share your interests. If you see a comment about how someone likes football or baking (and you share this hobby), try starting a conversation with that person.
- You can contact this user directly on this site if there is a function to send this user a message. Click on the username and open the chat by clicking “new message”.
- You can also save this user's name or a link to their profile somewhere on your computer or phone so you can write to them later when you have the time and mood.
Create a new user. Even though you will most likely want to register on several sites, you will have to configure settings on each of them account user. Because of large quantity accounts, you may forget something. Create a user with which you will register on different sites. You may have to register under different names on different sites, but in general, this will help you avoid confusion.
- If there is already a user on the site with the same name as you, add a number, letter or some symbol to the name so as not to come up with a different name. For example, if the name myrajane is taken, the name myra_jane may be free.
- To protect your data, create different passwords for each site.
- Create a file on your computer (Word or Excel) and save all user/password combinations in it so that you don’t have to recover your password if you forget it.
Join the conversation. In addition to private messages, you can also chat, comment on someone's posts and photos. Other people will also see your profile and your interests, and they will be able to contact you.
- Try to leave meaningful and objective comments so that your words are appreciated. It is unlikely that other commentators will appreciate harsh and judgmental comments. Such comments will lead to controversy and ruin your reputation.
Introduce yourself. Some online communities have specially designated fields for brief information about yourself. You can write several points about yourself: your name, city, age, gender, several interests. This information will allow other users to contact you. For example, you can find a peer from your city in an online community who wants to contact you.
- This information will help you find users with similar interests.
Start playing games. The easiest way to make new acquaintances and friends is to play online video games. In many online games Now it is possible to talk with other users in real time. There you can not only correspond, but also talk. For example, such a function is in Minecraft game, Call of Duty and others.
- Very often, dating in these video games leads to communication and friendship because you are playing as a team and working towards a common goal.
- If you want to immediately create your team and attract people to it, you may encounter hostility, so it is better to wait a while until people themselves are interested and want to join your team.
Part 2
Maintain friendships online
1. Enjoy the convenience of modern technology. Text messages help people just like you communicate and stay in touch even internationally. Try to write in plain text, you don’t need to use everything in your messages capital letters or alternate capitals and lower case, you should not come up with some incomprehensible designations, because such messages are difficult to read, because few people use the same writing style.
  
  Be kind and polite. Do not leave provocative or rude comments. Even if you want to express your point of view by engaging in conversation, remember that rude comments will turn people off if they disagree with you. Try to behave politely, be kind to other users, even if you do not agree with their opinions, avoid disputes so as not to lose all your potential friends.
  - Express your opinions only in conversation with someone who agrees with you, or in forums where there are separate threads for such discussions.
  - Don't get personal. On the Internet this point is more relevant than on real life. Sometimes users forget about this because they don’t see their interlocutor’s face.
2. Ask questions. To meet people, show interest in their lives - just like in real life. Show that you are interested in them by asking relevant questions, but do not ask something personal and embarrass the other person. In return, they will ask you questions.
  
  Exchange addresses Email. Once you start communicating with someone and feel that you are also interested in someone, you can exchange email addresses. It's special important point, if you are leaving somewhere and are going to be out of touch for a long time (except for email).
  
  Be open to communication. Just like in real life, to become friends with someone you need to communicate a lot. This means that you need to respond to messages, ask questions, take an interest in the life of your interlocutor, and write to him. This way you will show him that you want to become his friend.
  - Try to respond to messages as quickly as possible. If you wait days or weeks to respond, you will likely lose your friend because you will appear selfish and busy.
3. Write messages and leave comments to other users. It is important not only to write them private messages, but also to comment on their topics and photos. This way you will show that you remember them.
  - Add them to your comments by leaving tags, exchange ideas and have a conversation.
4. Consider calling. If your relationship is developing quite rapidly, and you are absolutely sure that it is safe to talk with your interlocutor, try calling him. Of course, this way of talking is more suitable for online games than websites, but phone conversation– a way to have fun and improve relationships.
  
  Learn to resolve conflict situations. Conflicts with friends on the Internet are inevitable, just like in real life. Just like in real life, you need to try to resolve the conflict in a way that does not tarnish your reputation. If a conflict arises, do not try to resolve it in a public forum or community; resolve it through private messages or email.
Part 3
Ensure secure communication
1. Pay attention to age. Although many people hide their true age to gain access to certain sites or for personal gain, many users answer honestly in the “age” column. Try to make friends with people in your age group who act according to their age.
  - For example, if you are 16 and you are talking to someone who is 25, your interlocutor may start discussing topics that are inappropriate for your age, such as smoking or drinking alcohol. You can start actively discussing similar topics in an attempt to impress your new friend, but this is unwise and can lead to serious consequences and legal proceedings.
2. - When visiting websites, hide your address so that others cannot figure out where you are.
  - Set privacy settings on your profile so that only the people you add can see your contact information.
3. Create a username that does not reflect your real name or last name so that other users cannot find you. You can come up with a nickname or take the name of a character from your favorite TV series or movie, for example, soccergirl or Sherlock_fan.
4. Don't transfer money to anyone. If someone is trying to ask you for money through an online community, then you are dealing with a spammer or scammer. Never agree to pay for anything or send someone your bank card or bank account information.
  - Do not share any payment information with anyone. Trusted sites like PayPal are another matter, but make sure it's from a real organization or company and not a scam.
  - Don't lend money to your online acquaintances because this may lead to deception and violation of your privacy.
  - Don't put yourself in a situation where you might be pressured into paying. If you give up and pay someone a small amount, you will immediately find yourself in a situation where they will begin to siphon large sums out of you.
5. Don't trust anyone with your personal information. Never give out your personal information: social security number, date of birth, passport number, as people may use this information for personal gain. Research shows that most teenagers take protection quite seriously personal information and set privacy settings on their profiles so that others should follow suit.
  - Try not to describe your appearance in detail to online acquaintances.
6. Be careful in video chats and phone conversations. If you want to talk to your new friend via video chat, make sure that he is a real person and not a spammer or scammer. A fraudster can be identified by the following signs:
  - Typically male, white, young
  - He often writes to children and teenagers and leaves comments on their pages.
  - Asks questions about who you would like to talk to
  - Tries to show himself as a respected person
  - Constantly gives flattering compliments and tries to charm you
  - Tries to turn you against people you trust (such as your parents or spouse)
  - Threatens
7. If you decide to meet, make an appointment at public place. If you really trust your friend, have already talked to him on the phone and video chat and know that he is not a scammer, you can agree to meet in real life. If you decide to meet, it is better to schedule the first meeting in a public place (for example, in mall or at a metro station) and take someone with you who can protect you if something goes wrong (for example, a friend or older brother).
  - Take with you a person who knows some type of wrestling, knows how to act in unexpected situations and work with dangerous people.

IN kindergarten, at school and at university, friends appear on their own. In 10–20 years you won’t even remember why you became friends. And this is not surprising: at 20 years old we spend 10 to 15 hours a week with friends Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor. Time spent in leisure activities in 2014, by gender, age, and educational attainment.. And then we plunge into work, start families... It’s difficult to find time even for morning exercises, let alone for constant meetings.

And it turns out that in the evenings there is no one to even chat with. Some of my friends moved to another city, others had divergent interests. Communication with colleagues and family is not enough.

A comparison of the severity of the experienced loneliness of 255 Canadian men and 431 women with the characteristics of their love-romantic, family, friendships and companionship relationships showed that the feeling of loneliness is most closely associated with a deficit of friendly relationships.
Igor Kon, “Friendship: an ethical and psychological essay”

So many people have to look for new friends. It's not easy because there is no time. Social networks, of course, help maintain acquaintances. But subscribing to someone's news does not mean becoming a friend. How to find loved ones on the Internet?

Find friends where they may be

The first tip for finding friends on the Internet is to choose services that will really help you find “your” person. You won't wait for a tram on the street without paved tracks or fish in a swimming pool. The same principle works in in social networks.

Users of social networks have long known that each of them has its own rules of the game. Some networks focus on professional communication, you need to look for colleagues, performers and investors in them, not friends. Others help find people with whom contact has been lost. It's not bad to find out how things are going, but if you haven't communicated with the person for many years, then it's not best recommendation for friendship.

Finding new people with similar interests is the network's specialty. In it, people are found not by last name or by date of graduation, but by interests and geolocation.

Create a profile with your real name

When a person views your profile on a social network, they get to know you. And when meeting people, it is customary to introduce yourself by your real name. This is a requirement of etiquette and common courtesy, and a polite and respectful attitude towards another person is necessary for establishing friendly relations.

Remember how we met in childhood, when finding a friend was easy. No nicknames: our friends themselves gave them to us.

Remove the cat from your avatar

And remove the car too. And in general, everything that prevents you from looking at your face. Do you want to be friends with real person, not with a picture. The same applies to those who are going to communicate with you. And it’s strange to start a friendship while hiding behind a mask. Be more honest and people will be drawn to you.

In MyFriends, it’s not that it’s not customary to put low-quality avatars, it’s simply not allowed to be done. Therefore, you always see who you are going to talk to and meet.

And add cats to your feed, but only your own, and not other people’s photos from the Internet.

Publish more information about yourself

Remember that somewhere in MyFriends there is a person registered who is looking for a friend just like you. Help him discover you. Fill out your profile in as much detail as possible: the service was invented specifically for telling about yourself, and not for collecting likes and reposts.

In MyFriends, there are no reposts of hundreds of identical articles and jokes scattered across all public pages at once. - this is personal.

Showcase your passions

Whatever one may say, we receive most of the information through vision. MyFriends operates on the principle “We won’t tell, we’ll show.” Take pictures and add hashtags to them, which will be a means of searching for interests. The better and clearer each photo is described, the more likely it is that you will be seen by people with similar views.

Write first

Sometimes we get so hung up on old contacts that we can’t just write to a stranger. Especially if you need to come up with an introductory word: who are you, why are you writing. But another person may be tormented by the same doubts. Therefore, we need to take the initiative into our own hands and start somewhere. For example, just comment on a good photo.

By the way, when you leave a post on MyFriends, your intentions are already clear: you are looking for a friend, not gaining subscribers or promoting your page.

Look for friends nearby

Previously, friends were divided into several categories: friend, buddy, acquaintance. The concept of “Internet friend” appeared relatively recently. This seems like a friend, but not really.

What prevents virtual friends from becoming real ones? Distances and exclusively digital communication. Therefore, if you are not satisfied with this substitute for friendship, look for people living near you. The easiest way is by geolocation. You'll be surprised how many possible friends live on the same street as you.

This is not the only friend search filter. Choose for yourself who you think will keep you the best company.

Go to meetings

Remember how much time twenty-year-olds spend with friends? Yes, more than 10 hours a week. A bit much for those over thirty. Why do we meet less often? Yes, because it’s becoming more and more difficult to fit a joint trip to a cafe or a movie into your schedule. When one is busy, the other is free, and vice versa.

But without personal communication, friendship does not arise. You may not see your old comrades for years without changing your attitude towards the person. New ones will not become closer without conversation, common activity or relaxation.

Try meeting new people without changing your schedule. For example, you are going to a film premiere. Write on social networks about your desire, someone will join you - this is the reason for the meeting and the way to choose a place and time. There is a separate option, which is called “Desires”. Offer your suggestions for places to go and things to do, or see who is planning to spend some quality time in the near future. Join and be friends for good health.

Always be yourself. This way you won’t deceive anyone when you meet and you won’t disappoint anyone when they get to know you better.
Think carefully about what you value most in people and who you find easiest to communicate with. Keep this in mind when looking for new friends.
Don't be biased, don't judge new people by rumors or first impressions. Get to know the person better, only then draw conclusions.
Friendship is a mutually beneficial relationship. Offer help when you see that a person needs it. If this is the case, then you can count on help in return.
Keep in touch with new friends: communicate on the Internet, arrange new meetings, try to diversify your leisure time together. But don't be too persistent. If a person ignores you, don't push yourself.
Don't worry if new acquaintances lose interest in you. You may have met the wrong people or made mistakes. Analyze the experience and keep searching.

With the spread of the Internet, many of us began to spend more time in front of the monitor and less time communicating in person. It is a fact. But not everything is so simple. The web is just a tool and everyone uses it differently.

The Internet can be seen as both a refuge from the real world and powerful tool socialization. The sites and services that will be discussed below are introduced every day great amount of people. Today you can make friends there.

Find friends in online communities

Internet forums, chats in instant messengers like WhatsApp and Telegram, public pages and groups on Facebook, VKontakte, Odnoklassniki and other social networks - all these are platforms for effective search new acquaintances.

You just need to choose the right community, which may include people you are interested in, and unobtrusively invite them to get to know each other. Nothing complicated.

If you live in a small town, look for a community based on geography. In large social networks, almost every locality has local groups like “Typical Bryansk” or “Overheard in Chernigov”, where you can communicate with fellow countrymen. To find such a group, just enter the name of your locality in the service search.

When you find a community, look at its description and read the posts of other users. This way you will learn how dating happens here. Most often, participants directly publish brief information about yourself with an offer to meet. On VKontakte, such data is usually sent to administrators, who then post it for the rest of the group on behalf of the sender. You can respond to one of these posts or leave your own.

If you are from a large city, then it makes sense to look for a community of interests, without being tied to locality. This could be a chat for discussing cinema, a public page about fishing, or a forum about bodybuilding. Choose what is closest to you.

The main thing is that your city is big and your community is popular. Then among his audience there will probably be your “neighbors”.

In communities of interest, so-called gatherings are popular - mass meetings of participants to meet people and spend time together. Such events are organized by the participants themselves or the administration. An example is the meeting of users of LiveLib, a social platform for book lovers. But before you go to such an event, prove yourself on the site. Participate in discussions, make your own publications - let them notice you and accept you as one of their own.

Some communities of interest have special sections for dating. For example, on the website of the humorous platform Pikabu there is a popular thread “Dating League”. Participants from different cities and countries tell about themselves here and offer to meet offline. After free registration you can write to someone who interests you, or publish your profile.

Find friends using dating services

The Internet is full of services designed specifically for dating. Most often, they are used to look for partners for sex or romantic relationships, but nothing prevents you from looking for friends in this way.

Find friends in online games

If you've never played a multiplayer game, you may not realize how durable social connections they create between players. In virtual worlds they find not only real friends, but even future husbands and wives.

Games like Destiny, Overwatch, and World of Warcraft create situations in which you need to interact with strangers. You join forces with other players for common goals and experience shared adventures. In such conditions it is easy to get closer and find common topics for conversation. If you wish, you can continue communication in the real world.

If you meet online, don't forget about netiquette

Get your online profile in order. Remove posts and pictures that may make you seem worse than you really are.
When publishing your profile for future friends, succinctly describe your qualities, dating goals and interests.
Try to write correctly, use punctuation marks.
Don't overuse emoticons exclamation marks and capital letters.
Don't split your message into multiple parts unless necessary. Finish your thought and then send it, so as not to annoy your interlocutor with a stream of notifications.
Avoid banal remarks like “Hi, how are you?”
Don't swear.
Don't make dirty jokes.
Do not argue over trifles, respect the point of view of your interlocutor.
Be polite.

If your communication is from virtual world turns into real (and this is exactly what you want, right?), you will probably find the advice from the next paragraph useful.

How to find friends offline

If you are an old-school person and don’t like all this virtual stuff, you can always find interesting people in the real world.

Look for friends at school or at work

Schools, universities and offices are the places where people usually make new acquaintances. But since you are reading this article, it means that this option did not work in your case.

If there are people in the team with whom you would like to make friends, but no one takes the initiative, take it into your own hands. Talk to your manager about joint events like going to an antique cafe or bar after work. You can simply offer these options directly to your colleagues. An informal atmosphere will create the preconditions for friendly relations.

If you study or work remotely or there are no like-minded people in your team, there remains a radical way - or study. But before taking decisive action, try the following option.

Look for friends in local sections and clubs of similar interests

Another old-fashioned way to find friends is to enroll in a sports section. It is advisable to choose a team sport like football, hockey or handball. Alternatively, you might consider dancing.

If you don't like active sports, try to find a club with similar interests. This could be an establishment where they play Board games or discuss literature. Choose based on your interests: this will help you find like-minded people. The addresses of such clubs are usually available on the Internet.

When communicating live, do not forget about manners

Before the meeting, think about how to spend your time as interesting as possible. Offer your options to new acquaintances. Ask if they have any suggestions.
Don't be late for meetings: no one likes to wait.
Do not violate a person's personal space.
Be open to new places, activities and travel.
Use to please your interlocutor.

We hope these tips will help you make new friends. We will be glad if you share your experience.

How do people become friends?

First, let's figure out how people become friends? This will be a rather long introduction, but it is important for understanding what will be discussed next.

To become friends, future friends need to meet three conditions:

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To be close to each other
Find something common that unites

This is why it is so easy to make friends as a child. Here you don’t even need to look for any special way to find friends - they find themselves. In kindergarten or school, children spend several hours every day together - conditions 1 and 2 are met. Condition 3 also works in most cases, because children, as a rule, easily unite. Some live in a common yard and participate in joint games. Others sit at the same desk and copy from each other. Still others gather in flocks, defending themselves from aggressive peers (or, conversely, dominating the weak). The fourth go to the same clubs or sections.

Having said all this, I understand that there are children who cannot find friends at their age due to personality traits or difficulties life situation. If this is your case, then read this article carefully - the information will come in handy. But still, in my opinion, most children have no problems finding at least one friend.

In adult life, at first glance, there are also many conditions for the emergence of friendship. Study at the university, subsequent work in a team. Without going into details, at university or at work the same three conditions for the emergence of friendship are met as in childhood. But what is the problem then, and why do so many people experience a lack of friendships as they enter adulthood?

There are two problems:

1. Old connections are crumbling

As children, we make friends unconsciously, without thinking about how to spend more time with friends? How to make sure they don't forget you? You just be friends, and that's it. Friendship runs in the background through your life, taken for granted.

But at some point, condition 2 is violated - your reason to constantly be together disappears. Perhaps you are moving to another city or entering different educational establishments. Or you move to another, distant area of the city. Or a friend is moving.

This happened to me in high school – my best friend moved into my stepfather’s house. The distance was a ten minute walk, now it’s an hour. He started going to another school, and after school we went to different cities. We keep in touch, but less and less often; he remained a childhood friend, one of my fondest memories. But now we are essentially strangers. As in the Casta song “Meeting”:

...And here he is passing through - some leftist dude

With a businesslike appearance and a gloomy tone - in general, a stranger.

How did we communicate before? What brought us together?

A hundred trivial little things, but everything moved forward.

A person is completely regenerated in seven years,

The cells that we were made of are completely gone.

2. We become more complex / “adult” problems appear

Yes, friendship is simply replaced by other things.

We move from educational and entertainment mode to work mode. In the morning - to the office, in the evening - home, tired. At home - family chores. Spouse, children, housework, shopping, repairs. At best, there is simply less free time for friends; at worst, there is no time, no energy, no desire. Some people manage to find close friends at work or, as in childhood, in the same house (only games are no longer childish:), others do not.

If earlier communication with friends happened somehow spontaneously, then in adult life everything is more complicated. You can’t just drop into a friend’s house and shout under the window: “Let’s go play football.” You need to call, arrange a meeting, definitely go somewhere or hang out at home, but in any case you will have to spend money. Daily friendly communication disappears, turning into the “on Fridays” or “on holidays” mode. And the other “half” often begins to pull the blanket over themselves: “Why do you need to go to them? They're already sick of it." There are hundreds of jokes about this.

I'm not considering online friendship (yet) because it's something special. This is a good invention, but, in my opinion, online friendship without virtualization or at least visual communication via a webcam cannot replace friendship in reality. Just compare communication via text string and communication while in the same room.

Although, on the other hand, complexes that make it difficult to make friends with someone in real life are often erased online - lack of confidence in one’s appearance or speech, modesty and so on. And here we begin to look for some way to find friends.

The best way to find friends

I consider this method the best and have repeatedly tested it on myself. Perhaps you will have a different opinion on this matter, but for God's sake.

The method consists of two steps:

Join or create a community of common interests.
Start making a difference within this community.

Second - more important than the first. You don’t have to join somewhere to start making a difference, there are just always people in communities with whom you have something in common. By communities of interest I mean not only clubs - a fishing club or a Mazda club. This is any association of people connected by a common cause.

I’ll give you my example – it will be about table tennis, and then briefly a few more examples from my friends.

In 2011, my friends and colleagues and I became interested in table tennis. Every day, instead of lunch, we went to play at the sports complex located not far from the office. There were five or six of us amateurs in the office, and a few months later we decided to organize a competition.

We played, presented the results in the form of a plate, and created our own website. Then a couple of weeks later we played again and posted the score again. Then again, and again.

And at some point we decided: let’s hold these competitions regularly and invite any newcomers there. Organizing an amateur tournament is not difficult - all participants chip in to rent tables and play for an hour or two according to the tournament scheme. We improved the website, spammed VKontakte, and people began to come to our tournaments. At first there were 10 people playing, then 15 people, and each time there were more and more fans.

We called our informal association: “Saratov Amateur Table Tennis League.”

Six years have passed, and now the league is at permanent basis More than 500 tennis players play. About a hundred players come to our weekly tournaments, many of them come from all over the region, we have sponsors, and the main prize for winning the final annual tournaments is a trip to all-Russian competitions.

And you just can’t imagine what a crowd of people I met and became friends with. We often meet and communicate outside of tennis, just in a friendly way, and it also turned out that I live in the same building with one of the top players. At the same time, I can’t call myself a great tennis player, I’m an extremely lousy player, like those who play out of nothing to do while relaxing at a camp site. However, this did not stop me from getting into a community of like-minded sports people and making friends among them.

If I were a simple visiting player, I would hardly make friends. I am an introvert by nature, some friends consider me a beech and a misanthrope. But! I brought benefit to all these people. I participated in the organization of tournaments, helping new players and solving problems of old ones, and over time they simply remembered me, recognized me and began to respect me for this work, which was carried out in free time and was not paid at all. Of course, I’m not the only one who did all this, I’m just talking about myself, because this is my story and my example. At first there were three of us such organizers, later there were more.

So, it's simple. You join a community of interests. And you start to be useful.

A few more examples of where and how my friends found friends in a similar way:

Joined the local tourism community and worked with newcomers.
I joined the running community when I was good photographer, and made photo reports
I became interested in bookcrossing, couldn’t find it in my city, created a group, made friends with a bunch of people.
Organized film screenings at the Orthodox youth club
At first he organized intellectual games at home, then they started renting a hall.
I signed up for the gym and didn’t refuse help (insure me, take photos, etc.)
I joined a dating group on VKontakte in my city, being a psychologist by training and a sincere person in life, I helped with advice and tips. I never found love in her, but I did find friends.
Organized a joint venture (“joint purchases”, whoever needs it knows what it is)
I played Allods Online, joined a local Saratov clan, proved myself to be a reliable ally, and friendships moved from online to offline.
I became interested in snowboarding, started communicating with locals, decided to try making snowboard pants and jackets, and built a lifestyle business on it.
Took an active part in student KVN

Let's sum it up

If you want to find a good friend, become first good friend myself. If you do something for other people, then these people will definitely be drawn to you. Join a community of interests and start making a difference within that community, and you will make new friends. The main thing is don’t forget about the old ones ;)

Look around. Are there people who are interested in the same thing as you? How can you benefit them?