What is effective communication? Don't avoid personal topics

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A modern person strives to be successful everywhere - both at work and in his personal life. Career, family, friends - all these are components of life, and effective communication allows you to improve all areas and come to maximum agreement. Everyone should strive to improve their social skills. Even if difficulties arise initially, over time this knowledge will bring well-deserved results - reliable interpersonal connections.

Definition of communication

Different ways of transmitting information from one person to another are called communication. It includes all the variety of channels for transmitting and decoding signals and can be:

verbal;
non-verbal;
written;
pictographic;
spatial-symbolic, etc.

Communication is considered effective when the sender of information communicates on the same wavelength as the recipient. However, even communication in a single sign system does not guarantee that the message will be correctly deciphered.

Effective communication minimizes the loss of meaning of the message. To successfully promote a business, to maintain friendships, and for a vibrant personal life, it will be useful for any person to improve their communication skills.

Basics of Effective Communication

Communication as a banal exchange of information is already present in the simplest animals. Man, in the process of evolution, has brought communication to perfection. Spoken language developed and gradually expanded to written, symbolic and figurative. However, this process has made understanding difficult and effective communication becomes a separate object studying.

The communication process includes five elements:

A communicator is someone who conveys information.
Contents of the message.
The method of transmitting information (how it is carried out).
The audience, or recipient, is who the message is intended for.
The final stage of communication, which allows us to understand whether effective communication has taken place. It is only possible if the previous four are sufficiently satisfactory.

Principles of Effective Communication

Without positive communication, it is impossible to achieve mutual understanding on any issue. In order to make sure that other people correctly perceive outgoing information, it is necessary to comply with a number of requirements.

First of all, you need to pay attention to the principles effective communication:

Communication should be two-way. When all participants are interested in a positive outcome of the conversation, and it is equal for them, the desired effect occurs.
The recipient must make every effort to correctly perceive the message.
The message must be clear, structured and concise.
The recipient must trust the speaker, respect his opinion and not question his competence.
Effective communication is always emotional, to the extent that is acceptable in a given situation.
Patience and forbearance towards other people's shortcomings. Accepting people as they are, without trying to adjust or fix anything.

Below we will discuss the main conditions for effective communication.

How to achieve a positive effect from communication?

For communication to be considered effective, certain conditions must be met:

Speech must correspond to the original purpose of the conversation and be adequate. Don't talk too much or bring up issues that have nothing to do with the topic being discussed. This improves effective communication skills.
The words used must be logical and lexically accurate; this is very important to achieve the goal of communication. Achieved through constant self-education, reading various literature and careful attention to the native language.
The narrative itself should be logical and competent. A clear structure of presentation creates favorable conditions for listeners and increases the chances of a positive outcome.

Effective Communication Techniques

Any person lives in society and is dependent on it. Even the most desperate homebodies, perhaps not directly, but enter into interpersonal relationships. For both work and household use social connections Effective communication will be helpful. Communication techniques and skills can be developed and improved - this will make anyone's life much easier.

Do you want to receive positivity in the process of communication? It will be useful for you to learn some techniques for increasing the effectiveness of communication:

Learn to listen carefully to what they say. You should not just look at the interlocutor during a conversation, but also bend slightly, nod your head, and ask appropriate leading questions. This technique will allow you to understand the interlocutor’s point of view as accurately as possible.
Be clear, concise and to the point. The more clearly a thought is formulated, the more likely it is that it will be understood and perceived correctly.
Include in your arsenal not only verbal, but also non-verbal communication. Take the same position as the interlocutor, try to use only open gestures, and do not touch your face during the conversation.
Watch for the emotional coloring of speech. It should be moderate, but so much so that the interlocutor understands your interest in the issue.
Mastering techniques to control your voice allows you to accelerate the development of effective communication. Clear articulation, correct timbre and adjusted volume will make any message positive.
Master technical means of communication. Any adult must be able to use the telephone, fax, Skype, and email. Written communication skills should be developed regularly.

These are just basic techniques designed to facilitate and improve interpersonal communication.

Rules for Effective Communication

Anything must meet certain standards. Their violation leads to a lack of understanding between interlocutors, conflicts and even a breakdown in relationships.

Rules for effective communication:

Speak the other person's language. This rule should be understood as the need to take into account the level of education, social status, age and other parameters. To be heard and understood, you need to formulate your thoughts based on the characteristics of the audience.
Prepare to communicate. If the conversation is not spontaneous, you should find out in advance who you are going to meet with and for what reason. Take visual materials and technical aids. Develop a conversation plan.
Learn active listening techniques to help put your interlocutor at ease and better understand their point of view.
Speak clearly, moderately loudly and confidently, do not draw out your words, but do not repeat them either.
When writing a letter, stick to the chosen style.
Before calling by phone or Skype, make a plan for the conversation and the issues that need to be discussed in advance.

Ways to communicate effectively

To achieve mutual understanding in the communication process, it is necessary to create conditions and take into account possible methods of effective communication. There are six of them in total:

Strive to express your thoughts as convincingly as possible. Always keep it brief and to the point, avoid unnecessary verbiage, omissions and possible double interpretations.
Use terminology and professionalism only when they are appropriate.
Even in everyday communication, jargon and slang expressions should be avoided, especially when it comes to intergenerational communication.
Avoid excessive emotional stress, both positive and negative.
Try to address yourself personally, by name, scientific or military rank, or by uniting a group of interlocutors with a generally meaningful word.
Always observe etiquette.

Nonverbal cues to improve communication

The interlocutors perceive each other not only by ear. Verbal impact can be increased or decreased by a variety of nonverbal cues. Our body sends them out in large quantities, and other people read and interpret them on a subconscious level.

To improve, it will be useful to master the techniques of positive nonverbal reinforcement:

Always be clean and tidy: even if your clothes do not quite comply with the dress code, general impression the conversation will be positive.
Try to control your facial expressions and emotions. Facial expression should be neutral-positive and react with changes depending on the flow of the conversation.
Avoid touching your face during a communicative act - this is subconsciously perceived as an attempt to cover your mouth, and accordingly, your statement is false.
Learn to “mirror” the body position of your interlocutor. It is important to do this delicately, without excessive zeal, so as not to look like a caricature.
Avoid “closed” poses - crossed arms and legs. This body position indicates an unpreparedness for effective communication. While open palms and a friendly smile can win over any interlocutor.

Conditions for effective communication using technical means

Technological progress has given us new means to facilitate communication. These are telephones, faxes, the Internet. Communication using technology should be built according to the same rules and principles as interpersonal communication. All rules of etiquette and principles of conducting business and personal conversations must be observed.

In this article we will look at the basic methods of effective communication. What is the psychology of communicating with people?

It is necessary to master effective communication methods both in everyday life and when running a business. A person needs to be able to communicate correctly, be able to listen, offer, persuade and express his thoughts. Mastery of effective communication methods allows a person to find the necessary connections, motivate to action, and sometimes even manipulate and win over to one’s side.

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The basis of effective communication is respect for the interlocutor, the ability to listen and try to understand his words, feelings and emotions. This will help determine what a person needs and what he strives for.

Methods of effective communication are verbal and non-verbal. Verbal methods of influencing a person include words and the meaning of speech. But facial expressions, gestures, tone, intonation, volume and timbre of the voice are non-verbal methods of communication.

Communication skills– a necessary quality for people to establish business and everyday connections and relationships. This is also a method of influencing people, but for it to work, you first need to establish contact with the listener. Contact must be established both on a physical and psychological level in order to instill trust in yourself.

Methods used for effective communication

It is necessary to create a calm environment and stop being nervous, as your state is instantly conveyed to your interlocutor or audience to whom you need to speak. You also need to create conditions in which nothing distracts you from the conversation or attracts the attention of the audience.
First, convey your situation to your interlocutor and give the person the opportunity to express his opinion about his attitude towards it. Based on this information, you can now express your opinion to your interlocutor or opponent. Having learned in advance a person’s attitude to a particular topic, it is much easier to influence a person.
Another one of effective methods communication is inclusion in the situation. Tell the person a story from your life with a similar ending.
It is very important to learn not to judge a person, not to label him. Try to understand what he says without distorting and interpreting the information in your own way. To do this, do not hesitate to ask questions: “Did I understand you correctly? What did you mean by this? etc"
If you need to convince a person, tell him several stories from your life with the ending you want. In your speech, refer to authoritative sources of information.
Help the person draw the right conclusions and tell them all the advantages of solving a certain problem with a new method. Be direct about your intentions and voice your proposal.
After the end of the negotiations or speech, say that you enjoyed communicating and you intend to continue cooperation. Regardless of the outcome of the conversation, you are ready to provide help or service at any time.

The Impact of Nonverbal Communication on Effective Communication

The human subconscious perceives non-verbal signs as more sincere. A person perceives more than half of the information from non-verbal sources. Therefore, it is important to learn how to use nonverbal methods of effective communication.

Repeating the gestures of the interlocutor helps to quickly establish contact and build trust.
Keep a distance of at least half a meter so as not to violate a person’s personal space. If you are not seeing each other for the first time and contact has already been established. You can touch the person or pat him on the shoulder.
While talking, do not touch your nose and lips. People perceive these gestures as signs of lying.
Postures and gestures during a conversation should be open. This demonstrates your goodwill and sincerity.
Try not to speak quickly or slowly, not to speak too loudly, and to pronounce your words clearly.
Do not use the particle “not”, it turns the interlocutor against you. Say better: “I agree with you, but...” than “I don’t agree or you’re wrong.”
When listening to your interlocutor, lean forward a little and nod periodically. This is a sign that you agree with your interlocutor and are ready to cooperate.

Effective communication from a psychological point of view

A person learns to communicate from early childhood. Communication helps a person survive. There are people who know how to establish contacts from childhood. But knowledge of the essence of the psychology of communication helps every person to better understand themselves and those around them, to receive joy from communication, from receiving new information and benefits from friendly and business communication.

You need to be able to communicate correctly with any people, even those who are arrogant and aggressive. Let's look at the main aspects in psychology that help make communication effective.

A person must be self-sufficient, understand his worth and the value of his personal opinion. In turn, also understand the value of the interlocutor’s opinion. Respect his view on life.
When the interests and desires of the interlocutors coincide, communication goes smoothly. But how to behave when a conflict is brewing?
When communicating, a person should feel comfortable and relaxed
Don't be afraid to express your feelings and emotions. Shyness, stiffness and uncertainty make communication boring and uninteresting.
When communicating, it is important to show care and respect for both yourself and your interlocutor.
Interest in the conversation and your curiosity gives the interlocutor the opportunity to tell more about himself. You should always try to find positive qualities in people, then interest in the person will manifest itself.
Openness and sincerity in communicating with loved ones is simply necessary. Otherwise, any conversation loses its meaning.
You need to learn to accept yourself and the other person for who they are. In this case, you can not be afraid to remain yourself and not adapt to the opinion of another person. Both you and he have the right to your point of view. If you are too emotional, then do not engage in conversations about politics, religion or other ideological topics.
Work with emotions. Meditation practices will help you with this. It is necessary that you can maintain inner peace and personal space.
Keep your distance depending on how familiar you are with the person. Do not violate your own or others' personal space.
Communication is not only pleasant friendly conversations, but also the opportunity to conduct business and resolve issues. Therefore, you must take into account the character traits and profession of your interlocutor. A teacher will always teach, a person in power will command and control, a doctor will look for diseases.

Dale Carnegie is known throughout the world as the author of the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” The methods of effective communication recommended by the psychologist are very popular, as they are relevant and useful for everyone. Let's look at the main ten methods of effective communication:

Be a good listener. Before expressing or imposing your opinion, it is better to hear the opinion of your interlocutor on a certain topic. This will help not only to win the person over, but also to anticipate his reaction to a particular topic in advance.
Show sincere interest in the interlocutor, ask him questions. In this case, he will express as much information about himself as possible. This will build your trust and help you redirect the conversation in the direction you want.
Behave diplomatically, do not get carried away with criticism. Talk more about the fact that you agree with the interlocutor, but in some nuances you think a little differently. Speak softly and do not focus on the person’s shortcomings. Ask questions so that the interlocutor answers them in the affirmative. This way you will achieve agreement during the further conversation.
Never argue. Listen to other people's opinions and show respect. Perhaps you really did not take into account or overlooked something. There are never winners in an argument. Everyone has their own opinion, but it’s worth hearing the opposite opinion.
If you want a person to do something, then you need to make him want it. Awaken the person's interest and desire to achieve what you need.
When fishing, without thinking about my own preferences, I bait the hook not with strawberries and cream, but with a worm

Dale Carnegie
Don't try to convey your idea to the end. Unobtrusively talk about your idea, and let the person get excited about it and develop this idea. Let him think that she belongs to him. Then he will selflessly want to bring it to life.
When listening to a person's problem, put yourself in his place. This will help you quickly understand and understand its essence.
Never give orders, it hurts a person’s self-esteem. It’s better to ask him questions, and let him decide for himself how to cope with this or that task. This develops creative thinking and relieves you of resentment from your subordinates.
Tell the person how valuable and important he is. Self-love and a sense of importance are great incentives to work.
To draw attention to your ideas, present them in a bright and visual way. For example, like in advertising. A boring presentation with graphs and numbers will leave everyone indifferent. A strong presentation will draw attention to your idea.

Dale Carnegie's methods of effective communication help people become more successful and influential communicators, avoid conflicts and disputes, and gain confidence in their words and actions.

Psychology of dealing with arrogant people

In life we meet different people, and we must be ready for any communication. Often on our life path There are insolent people - these are people who behave shamelessly and arrogantly to achieve their own goals and benefits. They don't take anyone's opinion into account, don't care about other people's feelings, and believe that they are always right.

You can behave differently with arrogant people. For example, respond to rudeness with rudeness, ignore, manipulate, put in place. It all depends on the situation and who is in front of you. Being rude to your boss will be fraught with danger, for example.

The first thing you need to do is not be afraid to say no. You need to be tough and not fall for any persuasion or manipulation. If you don't understand the refusal, start ignoring it.
Try not to stoop to the level of insolence, no matter how much you want to be rude. This way you will be involved in his dirty game and are unlikely to be able to verbally defeat a born boor.
The main goal of an insolent person is to throw you off balance and force you to do what he wants. So try to remain patient and calm. Drive him crazy with your calmness and let him go looking for another victim.
Never allow anyone to violate your personal boundaries and mind their own business. You have every right protect your personal space.

You must understand that all methods of effective communication are based on understanding yourself and your interlocutor. You must learn to understand people, understand who you are dealing with. In any case, respect, acceptance and awareness of the value of each person are the basis of successful communication.

Irina Kulga
The concept of effective communication, its components. Professional communication and manipulation

1 The concept of effective communication, its components

Communication is a complex, multifaceted and multi-element phenomenon. It is the structure that helps to understand the simple mechanism of communication, sort all knowledge in the field of communication and transfer it to any personal and business communication situations.

In any communication situation there are always at least two subjects - the sender and the recipient. The first sends a certain message, the second, accordingly, receives it (there may be several recipients, if we take a presentation as an example, when one speaker addresses an entire audience). A message is understood as the entire set of information that is transmitted from the sender to the recipient. These are not only words or sounds, but also visuals, emotional background, intonation, gestures, pantomime, etc. Any message is transmitted using one or another communication channel. A communication channel is a unique means of transmitting information. Words (and to be completely precise, the meaning of words and sentences) are transmitted using the verbal channel; sounds, intonation, tone and timbre - using vocal; appearance, gestures, pantomime and microfacial expressions - with the help of non-verbal, etc. Thus, with the help of communication channels, the sender conveys a message to the recipient.

As a result, the recipient has a certain impact - an effect. This could be thinking about information, agreement, disagreement, aggression, misunderstanding. One way or another, all this is expressed in feedback - in a response or message. In this case, the roles of the subjects change. The recipient, by giving feedback, becomes the sender, and the sender becomes the recipient. In general, the division into sender and recipient is quite conditional, since any of the parties is alternately both.

Effective communication is undoubtedly necessary for successful implementation goals of the organization. Distorted, misinterpreted messages often cause defeats for large companies, armies and nations. However, many managers, entrepreneurs and business people still think that communication involves the ability to give orders, argue and make excuses. Whereas, first of all, it is active listening.

Effective or ineffective

Ineffective communication is arguing with others, aimed at protecting your goals and plans. It implies the presence of winners and losers. This style of “communication” is rooted in a philosophy that divides the world into two: “right and wrong,” “victory and defeat,” or “good and bad,” without taking into account intermediate states. There is only one correct opinion, so we can neglect the views and experiences of people who can enrich our knowledge of the world and form a holistic picture. Instead, we constantly defend our narrow views. A pause in the conflict is considered a success when the defender temporarily retreats. Disagreements eventually result in resistance, loss of team effectiveness, and even sabotage until a balance of power and respect prevails.

Effective communication, in turn, aims to understand the views, feelings and opinions of others. When two sides listen to each other, both win. Mutual understanding and respect become the basis of cooperation, interdependence and loyalty. Success will be achieved if each side says: “Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. Do you understand me". Effective communication minimizes the loss of meaning of the message.

Effective communication skills allow opposites to coexist - this is highest ability understand another point of view and find a compromise. Why argue about who is right and who is wrong? The goal of effective communication is to establish and maintain rapport, support and working relationships that are mutually beneficial and therefore long-lasting.

By demonstrating a willingness to listen and understand the other person's position and experiences (without denying your own point of view), you create an atmosphere of safety and acceptance that increases the likelihood of signing a profitable contract or deal.

Basics of Effective Communication

Communication as a banal exchange of information is already present in the simplest animals. Man, in the process of evolution, has brought communication to perfection. Spoken and signed speech developed and gradually expanded to written, symbolic and figurative. However, this process has made understanding more difficult, and effective communication is becoming a separate object of study.

The communication process includes five elements:

A communicator is someone who conveys information.

The method of transmitting information (how it is carried out).

The audience, or recipient, is who the message is intended for.

The final stage of communication, which allows us to understand whether effective communication has taken place. It is only possible if the previous four are sufficiently satisfactory.

Principles of Effective Communication

First of all, you need to pay attention to the principles of effective communication:

Communication should be two-way. When all participants are interested in the positive outcome of the conversation, and it is equal for them, the desired effect occurs.

The recipient must make every effort to correctly perceive the message.

The message must be clear, structured and concise.

The recipient must trust the speaker, respect his opinion and not question his competence.

Effective communication is always emotional, to the extent that is acceptable in a given situation.

Patience and forbearance towards other people's shortcomings. Accepting people as they are, without trying to adjust or fix anything.

Effective communication meets the following requirements:

Credibility,

Realities

Objectivity,

Timeliness,

Addressing,

Feedback,

Dosage from the point of view of such a criterion as “important for achieving the organization’s goals”,

Availability (transparency).

Communication is carried out by conveying ideas, facts, opinions, sensations or perceptions, feelings and attitudes from one person to another, verbally or in some other form, with the aim of obtaining the desired reaction in return.

When considering the communication process, it is necessary to take into account that in the conditions of human communication, it is important not only how information is transmitted, but also how it is formed, clarified, and developed. Communication and information are different but related things. Communication includes both what is communicated and how that “what” is communicated.

In order for communication to take place, there must be at least two people. Therefore, each of the participants must have all or some abilities: see, hear, touch, smell and taste. Effective communication requires certain skills and abilities from each party.

Communication should be considered not only as sending and receiving information; mutual informing of two individuals, each of whom is an active subject, presupposes the establishment of joint activities. Therefore, in the communication process there is not only the movement of information, but also an active exchange of it.

In a specifically human exchange of information, the significance of information plays a special role for each participant in communication, since people do not just exchange words, but strive to develop a common meaning. And this is possible provided that the information is not only accepted, but also understandable and meaningful.

2 Professional communication and manipulation

The term “professional communication” is defined as “a professionally determined process of exchange of information between representatives of the same profession in cognitive, labor and creative activities, aimed at professional development, during which professional communities are created, characterized by certain norms of thinking, behavior and interaction between members of the community.”

Professional communication is understood as communication between people engaged in the same field of activity, associated with the performance of their professional duties or the satisfaction of their professional interests.

Professional communication includes open system knowledge in the field of communications and information technology, professionally oriented information and communication skills, the actualization of which occurs in real professionally oriented situations.

The following components are identified in the structure of professional communication in the field of education:

Motivational-need;

Cognitive;

Active;

Reflective.

The motivational-need component manifests itself in the desire for professional communication and the emergence of communication needs. Motivation for active professional communication with colleagues and participation in professional communities includes external (requirements modern society To professional activity teachers) and internal motives (the need for self-development and personal self-realization).

The cognitive component characterizes knowledge of the forms, types, means and methods of communication, its role in pedagogical activity; knowledge of communication codes, strategies, tactics, ability to interpret information and use it different kinds, which allows you to effectively carry out professional communication and achieve your goal, that is, solve professional problems.

The activity component includes skills: search and orientation, constructive (the ability to choose the type and means of communication, verbal and non-verbal communication skills, organizational (the ability to organize communication, including through new communication technologies, the ability to vary communicative means, gnostic (the ability to analyze and predict, regulate speech behavior adequately to the situation).

The reflective component is the ability to comprehend, analyze and revise one’s experience of professional communication. The reflective component is the basis for the development of professional reflective qualities, such as self-esteem, self-knowledge, self-control.

Two main types of communication should be distinguished. In human society, communication can be carried out by both verbal and non-verbal means.

Verbal communication for humans is the main and universal way of communication. Any other mode of interaction can be expressed through language. However, as already mentioned, everything can be expressed through the means of language. And the communicative function, as already mentioned in previous chapters, is one of the most important functions of language. Verbal means include both oral and written varieties of language.

Naturally, in communication carried out by verbal means, an enormous amount of information is transmitted. In other words, most people communicate in their natural language. No wonder - that’s what it’s designed for. This book is dedicated to verbal communications in the field of innovation management, as well as language as their main means.

Nonverbal communication is communication, the exchange of information without the help of words. These are gestures, facial expressions, various signaling and sign systems. All these methods of communication by analogy are sometimes also called languages - primary and secondary, or natural and artificial.

In modern professional and pedagogical activities, professional communication takes on a new meaning not only because it is one of the main means of professional activity and determines its success, but also because it opens up new opportunities for the professional development of a teacher.

Manipulation can also be called one of the most common types of communication. It is necessary for the psychological impact on a person. Manipulation in communication is a method of management, the ability to control the behavior and feelings of an individual.

The process itself consists of a subject (manipulator) and an object (the recipient of its influence). Moreover, the latter is not informed about the psychological intervention being carried out on his personality. Therefore, such influence on people (or a group) often has a dismissive or condescending connotation. Psychological manipulations in communication can be found at different levels: in personal discussions, in the family, in the team. They can be used both for creative purposes and to demoralize a person. The goal that the manipulator seeks to achieve plays a big role in this. The techniques with which he intends to influence are also important.

What are they needed for? Manipulation in communication is one of the oldest ways of obtaining benefits in a given situation. This psychological impact is not bad or good. It depends only on the final goal and how to achieve it.

If a person feels that his consciousness is being controlled, he should figure out why this is needed and try to benefit from the new knowledge.

First, you need to decide on your goal. What does the manipulator want? Is this the only benefit for him? Perhaps its impact will also benefit the recipient. This is relevant in family relationships when parents are trying to teach a child to perform some action (for example, exercise). In this case, the goal is to take care of the recipient of the impact.

Secondly, you need to decide on the means. If during the influence the recipient suffers (experiences humiliation, fear, anger, he is forced to do something, such demoralization completely subjugates the person to the manipulator. But there is also influence through flattery - when counterparts convince him of his attractiveness or uniqueness. But in In this case, the addressee does not suffer, but almost voluntarily submits to the manipulator.

Thus, the characteristics of manipulation in communication have a neutral connotation. Much depends on the personality of the active subject. If the process of influence is revealed, it loses its meaning. Therefore, you should not always interrupt what is happening. Sometimes it is much more profitable to play along with the manipulator and benefit for yourself.

Techniques of manipulation in communication

The manipulator chooses appropriate techniques, depending on who his activity is directed at. This can be an impact on an individual or an entire audience. The media space has its own established ways of controlling human consciousness. Employers often use manipulation techniques to create their own image. In a family, there are separate forms of interaction between parents and children.

The main techniques and methods of manipulation in communication are based on feelings. They are capable of destroying a person’s personality and life. Therefore, you should learn the important points of mental interaction and try to stop them.

In the course of joint activities, people exchange various ideas, ideas, views, suggestions, knowledge, and attitudes. All this can be considered as information, and the communication process itself can be represented as a process of information exchange. It is precisely because the exchange of information is built into all major types of management activities that we call communication a connecting process. And one of the most important management tools in the hands of a manager is the information at his disposal. Using and transmitting this information, as well as receiving feedback, he organizes, leads and motivates subordinates. Therefore, much depends on his ability to convey information in such a way that the most adequate perception of this information is achieved by those to whom it is intended.

Communication is the exchange of information on the basis of which the manager receives the information necessary to make effective solutions, and communicates the decisions made to the employees of the organization. If communication is poor, decisions may be wrong, people may misunderstand what management wants from them, or, finally, interpersonal relationships may suffer. The effectiveness of communications often determines the quality of decisions and how they will actually be implemented.

It is almost impossible to overstate the importance of communication in management. Almost everything that managers do to help an organization achieve its goals requires effective communication. If people cannot exchange information, they will not be able to work together, formulate goals and achieve them. However, communication is a complex process consisting of interdependent steps. Each of these steps is very necessary in order to make thoughts understandable to another person.

According to research, a manager spends 50 to 90% of his time on communications. This seems incredible, but it becomes understandable when you consider that the manager does this to realize his roles in interpersonal relationships, information exchange and decision-making processes, not to mention the management functions of planning, organizing, motivating and controlling. It is precisely because the exchange of information is built into all main types of management activities that communication can be called a connecting process.

Because a leader plays three roles and performs four essential functions to formulate and achieve organizational goals, the quality of information exchange can directly influence the degree to which goals are realized.

This means that effective communication is essential for the success of individuals and organizations.

Effective communication meets the following requirements:

reliability,

reality

objectivity,

timeliness,

targeting,

feedback,

dosage from the point of view of such criteria as “important for achieving the organization’s goals”,

accessibility (transparency).

Ineffective communication is one of the main areas where problems arise. By deeply understanding communications at the individual and organizational levels, we must learn to reduce the incidence of ineffective communications and become better, more effective managers. Effective leaders are those who communicate effectively. They represent the essence of the Communication process, have well-developed oral and written communication skills and understand how the environment affects the exchange of information.

You already know that communicative interaction is not just an exchange of information: after all, communication is a multilateral process that includes perceptual and interactive components. Although I must say that quite often the communication contact looks like this: “Hi! How are you?" - “Hello, everything is fine...” But when communicating aimed at solving management problems, such superficial contact does not lead to the desired result. Communicative interaction consists of certain structural components (stages). A person begins to participate in communication even before he utters the first word. He remains in the field of communication after the conversation is over. The act of communication can be divided into 4 stages:

“Switching” to the interlocutor.

Establishing contact (distribution of roles).

Language selection and use.

Breaking contact.

1. “Switching” to the interlocutor. This stage of communicative interaction could be called a switch from communication with oneself to communication with a partner. Its essence is that a kind of psychological adjustment occurs here:

a) on the partner himself,

b) to communicate with him.

What is “partner tuning”? This is a quick and direct (most often visual) identification of the frame of mind, state and mood of your communication partner. It is especially important to tune in to your partner if the interlocutor is unfamiliar. It has been experimentally established that during the first contact, the first four minutes of communication are decisive for the formation of impressions. It is precisely four minutes that our senses and perceptions work as intensely as possible, allowing us to form an impression of another person. One can argue about whether the first impression is the most correct (experiments show that it is not, but experience shows that it is), but the fact that it is the most stable is undeniable. Sometimes it takes a long time for the first impression to change.

If you know the person you are about to come into contact with, this does not relieve you of the need to tune in to him. Whoever is the first to recognize the emotional state of a partner will become the leader in communicative interaction - this is one of the axioms of communication. But we can say it more gently: if you manage to correctly determine the internal state of your interlocutor, you will get additional chances to lead in communicative interaction. Don't neglect this opportunity.

What is a “communication mindset”? This is a demonstration to your partner of your readiness for contact, your attention and interest in him. You can demonstrate your readiness to communicate using various techniques: turn off the running radio or TV, smile, offer to sit down, leave your desk and extend your hand, etc. At the same time, it is important that the partner feels (or better yet, sees) that you interrupted and pushed everything to the background. With some preparation, switching to communication takes a few seconds. But, if you were unable to organize it and failed to switch to a partner, you will have to pay for it in subsequent stages, and both of you.

2. Establishing contact (distribution of roles). For effective communication, that is, interaction at the level of information exchange, contact is necessary. It must be both verbal and non-verbal. Contact can be considered established when both partners are confident in their mutual participation in communication. It is worth remembering two important facts:

a) it is better to start establishing contact at a non-verbal level (direction of gaze, turn of the head, facial expression, gestures), and if you feel that this is not enough, you can move on to words (“I’m listening to you”, “I’m paying full attention”, etc. .);

b) simultaneously with fixation of contact, the type of situation is selected (game, business, intimate, etc.). The signals for choosing the type of situation are the same as when assigning roles, that is, both verbal and non-verbal. If

both people choose the same type of situation, this automatically determines the roles of each. Thanks to roles, subsequent communication takes place within clear boundaries, and everyone knows what to expect from their partner and what to do themselves.

3. Language selection. This stage could be called the speech stage of contact. In terms of time, the exchange of verbal information usually takes up the majority of the act of communication. During the speech stage, a language of communication is selected that is acceptable to both participants, specific formulations are formed, arguments are put forward, etc. the verbal stage of communication is important as an exchange of opinions. Changing positions and searching for compromises occurs precisely at this stage. We will talk about the means of organizing the verbal stage in the next lecture, when we talk about the psychology of a business conversation. I will only note that the inability to build it negates all the advantages obtained in the previous stages.

4. Breaking contact. I propose to call this stage of communication more gently: “leaving contact.” Its importance should never be underestimated. The last chord should crown the conversation with dignity. In addition, thanks to the “dropout of the middle” effect, known in psychology (the beginning and end of a conversation are retained in memory longer), you can use the exit from contact to your advantage. The general rule here is the same: you need to produce a series preliminary actions, taking seconds or minutes. The break in contact should begin at a non-verbal level (turning the body, lowering the tempo, volume and intonation of speech, fixing the gaze on a foreign object, for example, an expressive glance at the watch) and be accompanied by words that the topic of conversation has been exhausted, or a phrase like: “Sorry, but in a minute I was assigned to be flighty.”

So, we have established that the cause of poor communications (communication barrier) may be the inability or unwillingness to properly build and organize the communicative interaction itself. The most common mistake is focusing all attention on the third, speech stage. This mistake is excusable for your communication partners (subordinates), but for a manager it is unacceptable, because his function is to be a leader in communication. In conclusion of the conversation about communicative interaction, let me once again dwell on barriers and talk about how they are presented in N. Vlasova’s book. So, insurmountable (or almost insurmountable) barriers for partners are situations when you:

a) don’t establish contact (don’t smile and treat your partner like an object or empty space). There is nothing more unpleasant when, having started communicating with you, your partner sees that you continue to go about your business as if nothing had happened (writing, talking on the phone or sitting with your nose to the computer);

b) stay straight and stiff, in the pose of a statue. This is at a minimum alarming, and at a maximum speechless;

c) speak monotonously, indistinctly, without emotions and pauses;

d) talk only about what is interesting and beneficial to you. This gives the impression that you are indifferent to the interests and problems of the interlocutor;

d) interrupt your partner with or without reason. Remember your state when a saleswoman in a store says irritably: “There are many of you, but I am alone!” Isn’t it true that in this case an irresistible desire arises to immediately

convince her?;

f) manipulate, use dishonest methods;

g) attack (forcing you to defend yourself), criticize (forcing you to make excuses), accuse (forcing you to go on the defensive and hatch plans for revenge);

h) do not admit your mistakes and do not apologize. Communication is not a one-sided game. Communication is the interaction of two people - two dynamic systems turning into one. A necessary attribute of communication of any living system is feedback. It is clear that the lack of feedback is another, quite common communication barrier. We will now move on to an analysis of this phenomenon.

II. The lack of feedback during the communication process can itself act as a communication barrier. Without sufficient information about what is happening in the organization, in the department, and about the actions of subordinates, the manager is unlikely to be able to solve the assigned tasks. What is the essence of feedback? Feedback is a two-way process that includes two main components:

a) subordinates regularly report to the manager about how certain tasks are being performed, what difficulties arise in the process of solving problems;

b) the manager, based on the results of the analysis, promptly makes the necessary adjustments to the progress of work, evaluates and directs the work of the performers.

The forms of feedback in organizational systems are very diverse. As K. Killen says, feedback “can take the form not only of a word, but also of a smile, a handshake, an embarrassed look, a good dinner for a husband, a father punishing a son, or the result of a test in class” (Killen K. Management Issues. - M., 1981. - P. 75). But speaking seriously, feedback can be considered both in a broad sense (as one of the basic principles of the functioning of any complex organizational system) and in a narrow sense (as necessary component communicative interaction).

In addition, feedback can be carried out both vertically (boss - subordinate) and horizontally - between employees occupying approximately equal “floors”.

Let's consider the importance of feedback in a broad sense - for the successful functioning of an organization. Management psychologists have presented a number of characteristics of effective feedback in organizational interactions. Here they are:

Effective feedback aims to improve the performance of organizational members. It is needed not in order to “convict”, “catch”, “grab the hand” of the performer, but so that the actions of the subordinate are effective.

Effective feedback is constructive and communicates an idea that is useful to the recipient. This means that the performer receives information about how, in what way he can do this work,

and not about how not to do it.

Effective feedback, by its nature, tends to be specific and helps to establish quite accurately what the problems are and what exactly needs to be done to eliminate them.

Effective feedback is immediate. There is nothing worse than having a “debriefing” when nothing can be changed. There is no point in asking for corrections when it is not possible.

Effective feedback is based less on assessing what has been done (good or bad) and more on laying out what should (or should not) be done. On the one hand, “good” and “bad” are subjective criteria, while “should” and “should not” are objective criteria. On the other hand, when the deed is done, we can only state the fact. Feedback guides a person on what should be done and how, and this happens before, not after, the job is done.

Effective feedback is useful to a person only to the extent that it provides him with opportunities and ways to improve his performance.

Effective feedback is characterized by its

temporary admission necessary information to the employee, which makes it possible to make improvements in his actions.

Effective feedback relies on team members being willing and willing to accept it. If employees are not interested in improving their work, but, on the contrary, try to hide negative

results and use old methods to achieve the goals (and we talked about how to avoid this in the lecture on the psychological essence of control), effective feedback becomes impossible.

Effective feedback is structured in such a way that one party understands what tasks the other is setting for it. The phrases “What do they want from me?” or “Today is one thing, tomorrow is another” are clear signs

that in relation to the employees who give them, the feedback does not meet the criterion of clarity.

10. Effective feedback is reliable. Changing the scope of requirements and quality criteria of work during its implementation does not contribute to the effectiveness of feedback.

What is feedback in the narrow sense of the word? This is a necessary component of any communicative impact.

Communication culture

We always want to talk with tactful, understanding people, feel their attention and hear kind words. This makes communication pleasant and comfortable, and this behavior is called communicative culture.

But when we enter into conversations every day, we rather ignore the culture of behavior and communication than show it. After all, it requires from us restraint and delicacy, a thoughtful attitude to what and how to say. However, mastery of this art will make any person popular, and what he says will penetrate the hearts and souls of the listeners and his speech will always achieve its goal.

So what is personal communicative culture?

Communication culture is both the correct use of language and the adjustment of communication to the situation in which it occurs. And also - this is the behavior that will be the best for conversation.

If you speak competently and clearly, construct your speech so that it is appropriate and pleasant for your interlocutor, it means that you have a developed communicative culture and during communication you know how to select the most appropriate ways to interact with a person. Of course, such a skill does not appear suddenly, just like that. The formation of a communicative culture and its development occurs when you communicate a lot and often, learn to monitor yourself and the reactions of your partners, and improve your behavior. And to make it easier to learn effective behavior and communication, let’s see how it works.

So, the basics of communicative culture are:

Competent construction of phrases and accessible speech. Use simple words, express your thoughts clearly and specifically, understandably for your interlocutors. But don’t lower your level: speak competently, don’t distort your pronunciation, don’t break the rules of speech.

Maintaining an appropriate tone of conversation. You can raise or lower your voice, use its strength, expressiveness and intonation, but you don’t need to scream.

Psycho-emotional self-regulation. Monitor your mood and behavior, control yourself, your gestures and facial expressions. Learn to relax in conversation, not allowing rudeness, harshness, and impulsiveness to destroy its smooth flow and respectful attitude towards each other.

Using the language competently and behaving with dignity in all situations and circumstances is an example of a communicative culture of communication, its highest level. To do this, you need to be able to present yourself and apply the rules of etiquette depending on the type of communication - social or friendly, business or intimate, etc. Remember that just by starting a conversation and not even having time to say a couple of phrases, you are already creating a first impression about yourself - the strongest one, as you know. And it is no longer possible to produce it a second time.

Therefore, it is better not to make mistakes. Talk about important things in an accessible way, but not for too long and too much, not more than people are willing to listen to. Answer questions briefly and accurately, without getting lost or clogging up your speech unnecessary words– do we always succeed in this? Or we say something like “Uh, so... this is.... this one... what's his name... well...” This speech has nothing to do with the culture of communication.

As is the jargon. But it still exists, for example, youth, professional, student and others, and it is pointless to fight it. But communicating in your own environment, violating the norms of the literary language, is one thing. But to address the boss in youth slang, without observing the rules of etiquette and subordination, would be stupid and impolite.

In general, it is necessary to follow the rules of etiquette, to be polite and friendly in any circumstances - in transport and in line, at work and when chatting with a neighbor. Courtesy and benevolence are the foundations of a person’s communicative culture. And those who possess it not only speak, but also listen carefully, and turn their interlocutors into friends and admirers.

Communication barriers

In conditions of human communication, various barriers appear on the way to obtaining information.

At the same time, microbarriers associated with the external environment in which the communicative process takes place appear in:

· information overload(it becomes too much of a barrier a large number of information);

· variety of media (newspapers, television, conferences, consultants' reports, etc.);

· information overload, which leads to depreciation of its content;

· ability to use information (exclusive data allows you to use it to influence others;

· access to limited information sources, i.e. one that is intended for internal use, expands the power of individuals).

Microbarriers- these are specific communication barriers.

Are called different reasons their occurrence:

· peculiarities of intelligence of those who communicate;

· unequal knowledge of the subject of conversation;

· various lexicon and thesaurus (a set of concepts from a certain field of knowledge);

· lack of a common understanding of the communication situation;

· psychological characteristics of partners (for example, extreme frankness or extreme intelligence of one of them, intuitive perception of the world or assertiveness of the other);

· social, political, professional, religious differences, etc.

Communication barriers arise at the interpersonal level: in the message of the sender, in the exchange of opinions between the sender and the recipient, in the choice of media (e-mail, computer, official speech, etc.). They depend on the individual characteristics of the participants in communication, on the interlocutors’ ability to recode thoughts into words, listen and concentrate.

In this regard, barriers such as: the limit of imagination, the vocabulary of the sender of information, the vocabulary of the recipient, his ability to understand the meaning of words, and the amount of memorization are identified.

Barriers associated with the communicative characteristics of the participants in the interaction have social or psychological nature. They can arise through special socio-psychological relationships that have developed between partners (antipathy, mistrust, etc.), as well as through a kind of “filter” of trust or mistrust. Moreover, the filter acts in such a way that absolutely true information may become unacceptable, and erroneous information, on the contrary, may become acceptable.

From a psychological point of view, it is very important to find out under what conditions a particular channel of information can be blocked by this filter. It is also important to identify means that help the acceptance of information and weaken the effect of filters. The totality of these funds is called fascination(from the English Fascination - charm).

They are organized to accompany information in order to reduce its losses during perception by the recipient and increase confidence in it. Means of fascination play the role of an additional background, an amplifier of information, which partly helps to overcome the filter of mistrust. The musical accompaniment of a message can serve as an example of fascination.

B. Porshnev identifies three forms of communication barriers, which differ in the degree of transparency: avoidance, authority, misunderstanding. The point is that, by its psychological nature, the communication barrier is a mechanism for protecting against unwanted information. The psychological barrier that the recipient puts in the way of unwanted, tiresome or dangerous information can be of varying degrees of transparency.

An almost opaque barrier is avoidance. It is possible to escape from unwanted information and its influence both physically (avoiding does not involve contact with the carrier of such information) and psychologically (forgetting information or “going deeper into oneself” while listening).

Second barrier - authority- acts as follows: information enters consciousness, but along this path it is significantly devalued through a subjective decrease in the authority of its source, i.e., ultimately, it becomes unreliable and insignificant.

Third barrier - misunderstanding, the subtlest way to reduce the influence of information by distorting it beyond recognition, giving it a neutral meaning.

Since the causes of communication barriers may be hidden in the content and formal characteristics of the message itself (phonetic, stylistic, semantic), as well as in the logic of its construction, there is a need to consider such barriers in more detail.

Logical barrier occurs when partners do not find common language. That is, each person sees the world, the situation, the problem that is being discussed, from his own point of view, which may not coincide with the position of the partner. In addition, the same words in a given situation can have a completely different meaning, which is always individual and personal: it originates in the mind of the one who speaks, but is not necessarily understandable to the one who listens. Moreover, thought itself is generated by various human needs. That is why behind every thought there is a motive, which is the primary authority in the generation of speech.

Therefore, before uttering an opinion, a person first “packages” it into inner speech, and then expresses it in words, verbalizes it. The one who listens deciphers the meaning of words, thus comprehending the meaning of the verbal message.

Difficulties arise due to inadequate understanding of information. The main problem that lies in misunderstanding is related to the peculiarities of the recipient’s thinking, because the communication partner understands everything in his own way, and not as the sender of the information said.

Often, a logical barrier arises among partners with different types of thinking. For example, for one it is abstractly logical, and for the other it is visual and figurative. A logical barrier can arise at the level of people's operational mental activity. It is known that such thinking operations as comparison, analysis, synthesis, generalization, abstraction are used by people with varying degrees of depth.

That is, while one is delving into a detailed analysis of the problem, the other, having collected superficial information, already has a ready-made answer. Depending on what forms of thinking prevail in the intellect of each of the partners, they communicate at the level of understanding or misunderstanding, i.e. and here there is a logical barrier. Of course, a logical barrier can arise whenever partners differ in the characteristics of their mental activity and do not consider it necessary to take into account each other’s specifics.

According to experts, there is only one way to overcome the logical barrier: “go from your partner,” that is, try to understand how he builds his conclusions and what the differences are.

Phonetic barrier, that is, an obstacle that is created by the peculiarities of the language of the one who speaks, arises when the participants in the communicative process speak different languages and dialects, have significant speech and diction defects, and distorted grammatical construction of statements.

Psychologically, the reason for the misunderstanding lies in the fact that all the attention of the individual at whom the stream of offensive words is directed is concentrated not on the meaning of the explanation, but on the attitude of the one who speaks to the partner. And as a result, a defensive reaction arises, i.e. a shift in attention occurs, which blocks the analytical activity of the brain, and the words addressed to the partner who is listening are not realized by them. It is quite clear that in order to avoid such a barrier, it is necessary to speak clearly, not very loudly, avoiding speaking at speed.

Psychologists also advise using personal psychological defense techniques. In particular, you can mentally analyze the characteristics of your partner at the moment of incendiary announcement of information: “how big his eyes have become” or “how his veins have swollen.” Although it would be more effective to use verbal means and say, for example: “If you speak slower, quieter and calmer, then I will understand you better.” This phrase allows the partner to restructure.

Semantic barrier arises due to the lack of matches in the meaning systems of communication partners - the thesaurus, i.e. linguistic dictionary of the language, with complete semantic information. In other words, it occurs when partners use the same signs (and words too) to designate completely different things.

The semantic barrier is, firstly, a problem in jargon and slang; secondly, it is caused by the limited vocabulary of one of the interlocutors; thirdly, its causes may be social, cultural, psychological, national, religious, professional, group and other characteristics of communication.

T. Dridze uses the name “semantic scissors effect” to denote a semantic barrier and considers communicative situations in which this effect occurs:

· an obvious discrepancy between the linguistic means used by the communicator and the linguistic resources of the recipient;

· the discrepancy arises even earlier - at the stage of translating thoughts into words;

· Mutual understanding is hampered by certain individual characteristics of the recipient, especially the ability to operate with language as a means of thinking.

At the same time, from the fact that each person has unique experience, education, his own social circle, and, consequently, a unique thesaurus, it is not at all necessary to conclude that mutual understanding is impossible.

To overcome the semantic barrier, it is necessary to understand the characteristics of another person and use vocabulary that is understandable to him in a conversation with him. At the same time, words that have different meanings should be explained: in what sense do you take this or that word. It is also necessary to remember that language norms, the specifics of your language, should change depending on who the message is directed to.

Stylistic barrier occurs when there is a discrepancy between the communicator’s speech style and the communication situation or the speech style and the current psychological state of the recipient.

For example, a partner may not perceive a critical remark from an interlocutor because it was said in a friendly manner. Those. the style may be inappropriate, too difficult, or inconsistent with the communication situation and the partner’s intentions.

If the communicator uses speech patterns: “You need”, “You must”, “You must” and the like, the recipient experiences obvious or hidden resistance. This style, which is coercive in nature, is opposed by another philosophy of relationships, which is called the paradigm of the possible: “It is possible”, “It is desirable that you”, “it is possible”, etc.

Psychologists advise adhering to two main methods of structuring information (we are talking primarily about the business sphere): frame rules and chain rules.

The essence of the frame rule is that the beginning and end (goals, intentions, prospects, results and conclusions) of any conversation should be clearly outlined, because they are remembered better in the information series.

The chain rule determines the “internal” structuring of the communication process. The point is that the information necessary to analyze the problem must form a chain in which messages are combined according to certain characteristics. The sequence of presentation of all information as a whole is also very important.

So, the stylistic barrier between partners in such conditions is caused by incorrect organization of the message.

It is believed that a message is perceived better if it is structured this way:

1. from attention to interest;

2. from interest to the main provisions;

3. from main provisions to objections and questions;

4. answers, conclusions, summary.

A stylistic barrier can also arise if the form of communication and its content do not correspond to each other. For example, they were invited to a conversation, but instead of a dialogue there was a one-sided monologue, which caused the interlocutor not only dissatisfaction, but also a misunderstanding of the information itself, since negative emotions that do not allow effective listening, prevent them from concentrating and perceiving what they heard.

A stylistic barrier also arises when information is conveyed in a scientific-clerical style, which is understandable during reading and has difficulty in auditory perception.

Constructive criticism- this is criticism, after which it becomes clear how to correct the mistake and prevent

Exist certain rules for constructive criticism, which must always be taken into account when finding yourself in a certain situation that requires criticism.

To begin with, it is worth finding out how to respond to criticism yourself. Accepting criticism calmly and balancedly is a great art. Remember that having criticism is much better than not having it. If you are not criticized, it means that no one is interested in you. Although, there are times when they are simply afraid to criticize you, after you took a vacation from another not particularly desirable conversation addressed to you and went to treat depression. This is impossible, because criticism can not only point out your mistakes and correct them, but also suggest new directions for solving the problem. If you are criticized, it means they believe in your abilities and want you to improve. It is necessary to thank the person for any criticism. Firstly, it will characterize you as a well-mannered and prudent person. Secondly, you will have the opportunity to find out in calm tones whether the person approached your problem constructively and whether he is 100% sure that he is right. If not, you shouldn’t say: “I knew it, it’s just your subjective assessment.” Sometimes a subjective assessment, although not perfect, can point out such disadvantages that even people who evaluate objectively would not notice. If you acknowledge criticism, then you accept the responsibility to correct your shortcomings. Take this seriously and look at yourself from the outside.

Communication (from the Latin Communico - making common) - in a broad sense - exchange of information. Based on materials from the site http://f-group.org/?page_id=324

Communication is a complex process of interaction between people, consisting of the exchange of information, as well as the perception and understanding of each other by partners. In principle, communication is characteristic of any living beings, but only at the human level does the process of communication become conscious, connected by verbal and non-verbal acts. The person transmitting information is called a communicator, and the person receiving it is called a recipient.

Lasswell's model of the communication process includes five elements:
WHO? (transmits message) - Communicator
WHAT? (transmitted) - Message
HOW? (transfer in progress) - Channel
TO WHOM? (message sent) - Audience
WITH WHAT EFFECT? - Efficiency.

Effective communication is more than just conveying information. In order for communication to be effective, it is important not only to be able to speak, but also to be able to listen, hear and understand what the interlocutor is saying. Unfortunately, we were not taught the art of communication at school. They explained to us how to write and read, but they did not teach us how to listen and speak. Everyone develops these abilities independently, learning from the people who surround us (parents, teachers, peers). The communication style you adopted as a child may not always be effective.

Each of us, while communicating, can simultaneously learn to communicate, acquire and improve practical skills and abilities in the field of communication. In fact, the first and most main principle Effective communication means really trying to be heard by those people to whom the information needs to be conveyed. Pay attention for efficiency your attempts, not repeat unsuccessful steps and come up with new ways.

Indeed, communication is a two-way activity where you cannot be understood and heard if the other party does not want or cannot understand you. However, this is not a reason to abdicate responsibility for the result of communication, asserting “they don’t understand...”, “he doesn’t want to listen...”, etc. If you want to convey any information, the effectiveness of communication becomes your responsibility.

Very often when communicating, for some reason we hear what we want to hear, and not what we are actually told. This applies to both you and the interlocutor. Therefore, there is a rule of three times repetition that is used when transmitting key information:

First, tell the other person exactly what you are going to say.
Then tell him what you were going to tell him.
Then tell him exactly what you told him.

Remember that even this does not guarantee that the meaning of what was said will reach the interlocutor.
Communication means

Means of communication are methods of encoding, transmitting, processing and decoding information that. Information between people can be transmitted using the senses, speech and other sign systems, writing, technical means of recording and storing information. Usually verbal (using words, speech) and non-verbal (other) means of communication.

If a contradiction arises between two sources of information (verbal and nonverbal): a person says one thing, but his face says something completely different, then, obviously, nonverbal information deserves more trust. Australian specialist A. Pease claims that 7% of information is transmitted through words, sounds - 38%, facial expressions, gestures, postures - 55%. In other words, what is said is not so important, but how it is done.

Knowledge of sign language allows you to better understand the interlocutor and, if necessary, use non-verbal communication means in order to influence the interlocutor. It is important to pay attention not only to facial expressions - facial expressions, but also to gestures, since people control their facial expressions more than their posture and gestures. Below we will describe a number of the most typical gestures and ways to respond to them.

Gestures of impatience:
Tapping objects or fingers, fidgeting in a chair, swinging a leg, looking at a watch, looking “past” you. If a person sits on the edge of a chair, his whole body seems to be directed forward, his hands rest on his knees - he is in a hurry, or he is so tired of the conversation that he wants to end it as soon as possible.

Gestures of emotional discomfort:
Collecting non-existent lint, shaking off clothes, scratching the neck, taking off and putting on a ring indicate that the partner is experiencing internal tension. He is not ready to make decisions and take responsibility. Try to calm him down. Keep the conversation “about nothing” for a while or switch to a less significant topic. Be sure to listen to the answers even to routine questions; people do not like to feel that they are being communicated with “formally”, without being truly interested in their opinion.

Lie Gestures:
When a person wants to hide something, he unconsciously touches his face with his hand - as if “covering” the corner of his mouth with his palm, or rubs his nose. You should not show a person that you doubt his words and catch him in a lie. Better, ask him again (“That is, if I understood you correctly, then:..”), so as to leave him a path to retreat, so that it is easier for him to return into a constructive channel

Gestures of superiority:
Aimed at you forefinger, chin raised high, figure in the shape of “arms on hips”. Playing along with such an “important” person, slouching, nodding obsequiously and agreeing with his every word, or repeating all his movements, straightening his shoulders, raising his chin will not be very effective. The best thing to do when meeting such a pompous person is to emphasize his importance while saving your face. For example, say “You were recommended to me as an experienced, knowledgeable specialist,” or “What would you do in my place?” When asking such a question, of course, you must listen carefully to the answer, no matter how paradoxical it may seem to you.

Naturally, the external reactions of each person are different, so you should not unconditionally follow these recommendations, but rather study your interlocutor and try to better understand his individual reactions.
Communication channels

It is necessary to determine the “communication channels” available in each specific communicative act. When talking on the phone, such a channel is the organs of speech and hearing. The form and content of the text, information about the clothing, posture and gestures of the interlocutor are perceived through the visual channel. Handshake: a way of conveying a friendly greeting through a tactile channel. For example, when talking on the phone, you cannot use the visual channel, and must pay more attention to the clarity of speech, intonation, and word order in sentences.

Since verbal communication is still the basis of human communication, you may find it useful to know the techniques for proper listening described in Eastwood Atwater's book “I'm Listening to You. Advice to a manager on how to listen to your interlocutor correctly.”

Understand your listening habits. What are your strengths? What mistakes are you making? Maybe you judge people hastily? Do you often interrupt your interlocutor? What communication interference is most likely in your answers? Which ones do you use most often? Knowing your listening habits better is the first step in changing them.
Do not leave from responsibility for communication. If it is not clear to you what the interlocutor is talking about, you must let him understand it. How can someone know that you don't understand them until you say so yourself?
Be physically alert. Make sure your posture and gestures indicate that you are listening. Remember that the speaker wants to communicate with an attentive, lively interlocutor, and not with a stone wall.
Focus on what the other person is saying. Because focused attention can be short-lived (less than one minute), listening requires conscious concentration.
Try to understand not only the meaning of the words, but also the feelings of the interlocutor. Remember that people communicate their thoughts and feelings "coded" - in accordance with socially accepted norms. Listen not only to the information, but also to the feelings conveyed.
Watch for non-verbal the speaker's signals. Watch the speaker's facial expression, tone of voice, and speed of speech.
Maintain an approving attitude towards your interlocutor. The more the speaker feels approved, the more accurately he will express what he wants to say. Any negative attitude on the part of the listener causes a defensive reaction, a feeling of insecurity and alertness in communication.
Try to express understanding. Use reflective listening techniques to understand what in fact the interlocutor feels and what he is trying to say.
Listen to yourself. Listening to yourself is especially important for developing the ability to listen to others. When you are preoccupied or emotionally agitated, you are least able to listen to what others are saying. If someone's message affects your feelings, express them to your interlocutor: this will clarify the situation and help you listen to others better.
Respond to requests with appropriate action. Remember that often the interlocutor's goal is to get something tangible, for example, information, or change an opinion, or force someone to do something. In this case, adequate action is the best response to the interlocutor.

The focus of improving your listening habits should be on positive suggestions, but it is also helpful to be aware of common pitfalls. When listening to your interlocutor, never:

Don't mistake silence for attention. If the interlocutor is silent, this does not mean that he is listening. He may be lost in his own thoughts;
don't pretend what are you listening to? It's useless: how would you neither pretended lack of interest and boredom will inevitably show in facial expressions or gestures. It’s better to admit that you can’t listen at the moment, citing, for example, being busy;
don't interrupt unnecessarily. If you need to interrupt someone in a serious conversation, then help restore the interlocutor's train of thought that you interrupted;
Don't jump to conclusions. Remember, such assessments are a barrier to meaningful communication;
Don’t let yourself be “caught” in an argument. When you mentally disagree with a speaker, you tend to stop listening and wait for your turn to speak. And when you start arguing, you get so carried away with justifying your point of view that sometimes you no longer hear your interlocutor;
don't ask too many questions. It is useful to ask a question to clarify what has been said. An excessively large number of questions, to a certain extent, overwhelms the interlocutor, takes away his initiative and poses a challenge. into a defensive position;
never tell your interlocutor: “I understand your feelings well.” In this case, you should let the interlocutor know that you are listening to him by asking, for example, the following empathic question: “Are you disappointed in something?” or “I feel like someone offended you,” or any other remark appropriate to the situation;
Don't be overly sensitive to emotional words. When listening to a very excited interlocutor, be careful and do not be influenced by his feelings, otherwise you may miss the meaning of the message;
Don't give advice unless asked. Unsolicited advice, as a rule, is given by someone who will not help himself;
don't hide behind listening as a refuge. Don't be afraid of disapproval or criticism.

Principles of Effective Communication

In our opinion, good principles of effective communication are described in missyinchains’ book “Effective Communications: The Basis for a Successful Relationship”

Two-way communication
Effective communication is a two-way street, in other words, you are one and communicator and recipient of communication. The person receiving the message must always confirm verbally, in writing, by gesture, or in some other way that he has accepted and understood the information. Without this component, communication cannot be considered effective. The responsibility to maintain effective communication lies with both parties. Excuses in the style of “I didn’t hear”, “I didn’t understand” are unacceptable - this is simply an attempt to relieve oneself of responsibility for a failure in communication.

Listen and hear
Listening is not enough. To understand and realize what is being said, you need to hear. How often we are told that they are listening to us, while we know that we are not being heard. This can be easily checked by asking the listener to repeat what was just said, or even better, to retell it in his own words.

Brevity and clarity
This means that you should not hide the meaning of the message. for nonessential information. The more repetitions and explanations you add, the more you go into detail, the less effective your communication will be, because it is difficult for the listener to follow your thoughts and, therefore, understand you.

Be open and honest
This factor is closely related to trust and respect in relationships. Trying to hide something or lie to others, a person risks losing trust and respect. You should also not put off discussing important issues until later or try to avoid such a discussion. Of course, there are situations when, due to external circumstances, immediate conversation is impossible.

Trust and respect
Trust: a strong belief in honesty, integrity, reliability, fairness, etc. another man. Respect: high praise, recognition. Trust and respect - the most important characteristics any relationship. At first, a certain minimum level of them may exist as if automatically, by default. But for the most part, respect and trust must be earned, won, and this process is long.
Trust and respect that is damaged, including by ineffective communication, is very difficult to restore, no matter what the person then says or does.

Privacy or secrecy?
Everyone, to one degree or another, values privacy and the inviolability of their private life. But the line separating privacy from secrecy is thin. Secrecy begins when information about something that has a direct impact on another person or on relationships. An effective communication system involves identifying the areas in which information needs to be communicated and the areas that are not so significant, taking into account what is important to the partner. One should not rely entirely on one's own ideas about privacy and secrecy, since each person is dealing with another person whose concepts and criteria may differ from his own.

Objectivity
It is sometimes very difficult to be objective in communications. Under objectivity refers to the ability to look at things from another person's point of view. An objective approach can be hampered by many factors: emotions, ideas about life, a person’s own inclinations and paradigms, the ability to listen and hear, etc. The better a person can see a particular situation through the eyes of another person, the better, the more objective his communications will be.

Emotions
Emotions can block objectivity, logic, and a sense of reality. Blinded by emotions, people risk saying things they didn't mean at all, or exaggerating the significance of events. Correcting what was said under the influence of anger, fear and similar feelings is difficult, sometimes impossible.
When dealing with a person overwhelmed by feelings, you should remember that the information he communicates is skewed and distorted. But it would be a mistake to write off what he says completely.

Assumptions and feelings
To do anything without full knowledge of the situation, motives, intentions, beliefs, needs, feelings of another person is to invite disaster.

About getting personal
The easiest way to kill effective communication is by attacking your partner’s self-esteem, reputation, and personal qualities. It is not always easy to understand whether a particular remark addressed to you was of a personal nature. Until you are absolutely convinced of this, do not react. When participating in discussions, avoid language that may call into question the competence of the interlocutor. When asserting something, accompany the phrase with introductory words such as “in my opinion,” “I heard,” “I came to a conclusion,” etc., and, accordingly, do not disparage the interlocutor’s opinion with assessments in the spirit of “complete nonsense.” or “it’s not like that at all.”
Another good way conducting a conversation without getting personal - formulate your statements in the form of questions: “please explain what is the reason for ...”, “what do you think about ...”, "hasn't it happened you should read/see…”, “what is your opinion”, etc. At the same time, keep in mind that sometimes the interlocutor may be offended by a series of questions if it seems to him similar to an interrogation, and then the rhetoric will need to be structured differently.

Patience and tolerance
Tolerance for another person's needs, desires, beliefs, and opinions is another key to effective communication. You may not agree with them, but you must recognize their right to exist and their importance to him at a given moment in time. Creating an environment that is hostile to them will not be beneficial, but it may cause pain or mental anguish. Patience and tolerance also imply that there is no need to make mountains out of molehills and inflate the importance of something that is actually insignificant. Separate what is worth “sorting things out” for from little things that are better left unnoticed. By concentrating too much on the little things, you may miss the main thing and not see the forest for the trees.

Forgive and forget
People are sometimes ready to “get into knots” over something very small and unimportant. Experiences, worries, nervous breakdown are associated with the expenditure of energy that could be directed to something positive, and not to the useless and repeated chewing of the created unpleasant situation. If you are wrong - apologize if your partner says he was wrong and asks for forgiveness - forgive and move on. Alas, too often a feeling of resentment distorts the real subject of the conflict, inflates its importance, and a minor glitch in a relationship suddenly becomes very serious. Revenge, of course, is sweet, but is a momentary victory worth a significant defeat? Even when some problems are so deep that it is possible to completely eliminate them, you always choose between minimal and maximum damage. How a person manages a situation determines how it will be resolved.

The art of negotiation
This is the quintessential art of effective communication. The goal of negotiations is to find a solution in which all parties benefit. Going into negotiations with the mindset of not giving an inch, a person dooms himself to complete failure. The key to successful negotiations is the willingness to compromise, to give one thing and get something else in return.
Make a list of issues discussed, dividing them into those that you stick to firm positions, those where you are ready to concede and those for which the decision is not important for you. This way you will understand where you are not ready for any compromises, where you are willing to compromise and what you can completely leave to the discretion of your partner. But it is important to remain open and objective: who knows, maybe the interlocutor will put forward arguments that will make you rethink and adjust your list of priorities.
Everyone is pleased when it is his point of view that prevails, this is such a sense of ownership in relation to ideas and decisions. But it is more important that the decision be acceptable to everyone.
Literature

Communication and optimization of joint activities. Ed. Andreeva G.M. and Yanoushek Ya.M., Moscow State University, 1987.
Petrovskaya L.A. Competence in communication. M., 1990
Nemov R.S. Psychology t.1 M., 1995
Asmolov A.G. Psychology personalities M., 1990

What is effective communication? Don't avoid personal topics

Definition of communication

Basics of Effective Communication

Principles of Effective Communication

How to achieve a positive effect from communication?

Effective Communication Techniques

Rules for Effective Communication

Ways to communicate effectively

Nonverbal cues to improve communication

Conditions for effective communication using technical means

Methods used for effective communication

The Impact of Nonverbal Communication on Effective Communication

Effective communication from a psychological point of view

Psychology of dealing with arrogant people

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