Short statuses for social networks. Positive statuses for social networks


Status is not only your social position in society, but also a laconic statement that describes your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Statuses can be sad, happy, positive, about love, friendship, betrayal, etc. We share our statuses with friends in in social networks. To cheer everyone up (including yourself), you can select positive options and post them on your page.

The most positive statuses: examples

  • A real alcoholic drinks once a day - from morning to evening.
  • Sign in the student canteen: Do not feed cutlets to cats, two unfortunate creatures have already been poisoned!
  • The secret of happiness: never compare your health, wife and salary with others.
  • The kiss was invented by a man to silence a woman, at least for a minute.
  • If a fool is decently dressed, is always well-fed and smiles at life, then he is not so stupid.
  • There are no dead ends. There are unbroken tunnels.
  • There are three troubles in Russia: fools, roads, and the fools who make these roads.
  • If time is running out for you, don't worry. Simply remove the battery from your watch and enjoy life.
  • What makes a good day is not the date or the weather, but the people.
  • If life gives a crack, accept it as new design; and, taking this opportunity, change the interior and change the atmosphere.
  • Positive thinking is when you fell down the stairs and you think: Wow... How quickly I went down!
  • See life through Windshield, not the rearview mirror.
  • A bald spot is a clearing trampled by thoughts.
  • If people constantly laugh at you, it means you bring joy to people.

Statuses for social networks: positive and funny


  • Let go of all the idiots and fools from your life, the circus must tour!
  • Sometimes a smile makes us forget about our problems, sometimes a smile works wonders, it decorates our world. Never stop smiling, even when you are sad, because someone might fall in love with your smile!
  • The stars can be seen better through the slid down roof.
  • Some mistakes in life are too great to make just once!
  • Never despair in life. One person drew a square and called it a picture. Happened. So you will succeed!
  • If you get up on your left foot in the morning, then the day will go well. If it's on the right, even better. And if you can’t get up at all, then it was good yesterday.
  • Life is like a mirror we get top scores when we smile at it.
  • For Russians, signs: Swimming is PROHIBITED!, Don’t get in - YOU WILL KILL!, DO NOT TOUCH with your hands! - it's a challenge!.
  • Well, they were rude to you in the supermarket - don’t worry. Place frozen fish in the bread section.
  • Save your statuses - they will help the psychiatrist with a diagnosis.
  • Life is boring and monotonous. But everything changes when they arrive... Money on the card!
  • That's why lemonade is made from artificial lemon juice, and detergents are made from natural lemon juice?
  • Look at life more cheerfully: after stepping on a rake, enjoy the fireworks.
  • The sun is shining, the cat is purring, the coffee is brewing, a new day awaits us!

Positive statuses: options for girls


  • I think I'm pregnant...I'm sick of work and drawn to the salty sea.
  • I want a light to come on in my purse when I open it, like in a refrigerator!
  • Girl, do you have valentines with the inscription “to my only one”? - Eat! - Give me 16 pieces.
  • I'm tired of all. Tired. I'll go to the monastery. In men's. For 3 days….
  • I heard this proverb: whoever is afraid of something will happen to him. Now I am very afraid of getting rich and losing weight.
  • Girls are unique only in their logic. She alone is worth a lot to us.
  • Nowadays, if you are smart, shy and sweet, this is just some kind of vice.
  • Live while you live... Fall in love sometimes. Cry when you have to. And always have fun!
  • Memo for husbands: There should be so many clothes in a wife’s closet that no lover could fit in there.
  • I have already come to terms with the fact that instead of a white horse, my prince will have a black Hummer... I am strong, I will stand it!
  • Give a girl a million red roses, and she will say that she needs one, but white....
  • The woman knows that if she sobs loudly and throws a good tantrum, then two and two will equal five.
  • If a woman wants something sweet, she can always convince herself that this cake is dietary.
  • A scandal for a woman is a form of entertainment.
  • Previously, my mother was worried that I would give birth to a child at the age of 15... and now she is worried that I will give birth at least by the age of 30.
  • My husband gave me a sea of ​​flowers! He took it out to the field and said: “It’s all yours, collect it!!!”

What is status?

Each status posted by a person in any social network or chat can indicate the following: physical condition a certain person, the type of employment of a person in this moment, determination of the emotional or mental state of the individual, the position of this person in society, etc.


Previously, the status looked like a specific picture, and not a text message: it was used in programs such as QIP, ICQ, MSN (The Microsoft Network) to indicate one’s status at the current moment.

Today, the concept of statute has acquired a different meaning and is very widely used in such social networks as: VKontakte, Odnoklassniki, Facebook and others. - it's kind of special text message, which each user places in a special window, voluntarily. This posted message can be seen by all visitors and all your friends who are in your contacts.

Why do you need status?

Using status, every registered user of a social network can easily notify all their friends about any event. For example, you have an exam soon or a date with your loved one. You set your status: “Exam coming soon! Support me morally! Good luck to me!” or “Today I’m going to meet the girl/guy of my dreams!” The status you post will immediately appear in the news of your friends and subscribers and they will already know about what you will do or have done.

Today there is already great amount sites with great selections different statuses, a wide variety of topics. Everyone has the opportunity to select and set a status depending on their mood or their actions. Collections of statuses on such sites are constantly updated; users or administration constantly delight their visitors with more and more new statements!

It’s very easy to change any status to a new one, you just have to invent it or find it. By changing your status, you can not only please someone you know, but also offend them; think before you write any status.

With the help, you can easily and beautifully confess your feelings to someone. With the help of cool jokes, you can easily cheer up yourself or your friends on a social network. With the help of status, anyone can change others' opinions about him. The main thing is that they don’t think badly of you because of some statements.

Write funny statuses, confess your love, philosophize, etc.! I wish you beautiful statuses and loyal, good friends!

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At first glance, it seems that statuses on user pages do not play a big role. Just think, there are several in the status own words or a quote from one of the great people.

But we need to look at this more broadly. What are users trying to say? Why and who needs statuses?

Virtual communication has long become commonplace. But through a computer monitor, laptop or other device, it can be difficult to express the full range of feelings that overwhelm you. Yes, the words will be written and understandable, but sometimes with an emotional tint that will fully convey the information to other people.

Not all words can and should be said to someone directly to their face. A correctly selected status will help express a thought that is tormenting a person.

Often these words are addressed not to everyone, but to a single inhabitant of a social network. But there is no guarantee that this status will be seen, heard and correctly understood.

Often events happen in our lives that we need to tell many friends about at once. These can be both pleasant and negative things. It’s difficult to call everyone at once or write to every friend separate message. A couple of words in the status on the page will be enough.

For example, the user lost , and with it the contacts of his friends, relatives, and colleagues. Using a status, you just need to throw out a call; active users of the social network will quickly respond and send their data to an absent-minded friend.

You can also easily and quickly organize a meeting of former colleagues, colleagues, friends from the university, or thank your friends for their birthday greetings.

Philosophical phrases, catchphrases, quotes, aphorisms quite often appear in our statuses. By the way, with their help you can find new friends.

If the user's page is open, then even strangers respond to this status, write their thoughts, argue or agree. In the process of such a simple conversation, new acquaintances are born.

How to add emoticons to VKontakte status


Rice. 1. How to change VKontakte status

If you need to add emoticons to your VKontakte status:

1 in Fig. 2 – click on the emoticon, a menu will open with a selection of emoticons:


Rice. 2. Select an emoticon for VKontakte status

2 in Fig. 2 – select a suitable emoticon;

Introducing new selection funny statuses for social networks. Cheer yourself and your loved ones up by putting original and funny status!

For your convenience, statuses are divided into statuses for women And statuses for men.

Funny statuses for women

Every woman has the right to wake up her husband at three in the morning to ask if he loves her. And if he loves, then let him bring him something to drink.

Urgently!!! I'm looking for relatives in Thailand, Egypt, maybe the Maldives... I miss you, I don't have the strength!!!

I, a very greedy girl, went to throw out the trash and came back with two bags.

I ran away from the maniac so quickly that already on the second lap I caught up with him and attacked him from behind.

To hell with them, these 90-60-90... no beard is already a plus!

I met a dog handler here... well, such an attentive man... he scratched me behind the ear all night...

I poured some cognac, thought of a sandwich - I opened a page on Odnoklassniki, and there was a guest... People have a sense of smell...

I watch my figure... She goes to the refrigerator at night.

It’s a shame when you’re sitting with a guy and he puts his hands under your jacket, and your tights are pulled up to your bra.

I feel like CINDERELLA... I’ll come after 12 and I’ll get a pumpkin...¦

I manage to give people advice when everything is going wrong for me...

Take care men! They are suffering! Sometimes it’s a lack of attention, sometimes it’s too much, and most often it’s BULLSHIT!!!

This morning, while I was putting on makeup, I fainted 5 times from my beauty...

If you want to know what your friends think about your husband, say that he turned out to be a scumbag and you are getting a divorce.

At work, wild thoughts come to me: “When I get home, I’ll do the cleaning, bake pies, iron my husband’s shirts...” I came, ate, opened Odnoklassniki... well, thank God, I let go with some heroic deeds!

The only person for whom you are always THIN and HUNGRY is grandma!!!

I don’t know about you, but personally I don’t believe in the existence of people who have never washed their feet in the sink!

I love updating photos. Everyone immediately comes to visit, looks, worries... has she become fat... has she cracked with happiness...

If you have gained 5 kg again in a week, then this diet was recommended to you by your best friend.

All! I turned off the computer, went to bed... yeah, of course... I went to Odnoklassniki from my phone.

Funny statuses for men

Today I have a musical attitude towards life...I don’t care about everything!

Enlargement of breasts, lips, buttocks. No surgery. CHEAP. Beekeeper Kuzya.

When I got married, I thought she would cook like her mother, but she drinks like her father!

Yesterday I freaked out and left home, remembered that I live alone, and returned.

While you are breaking down... they confess their love to her, offer to meet her, find out her phone number... and you break down, break down further.

Why can I never read this phrase correctly the first time - “I sent it to you”???

I just realized that the rings on the roofs of wedding cars look like a surprised emoji O_o

All normal people they are looking for love, their place in life, and I, damn it, am the second sock...

You will never learn the truth from a woman! First they have a girl's memory, then women's secrets, then senile insanity...

Wow! My friends, where do you have so many classmates?! Did you finish school in China?

Do you want to admire the mysterious smile of Mona Lisa? Ask your wife where she puts your salary.

It infuriates me when they write: “Give me a CLASS, give me a CLASS”: I just want to answer: - shouldn’t I give you cancer?

The moderator who banned my wife from Odnoklassniki. Answer me - I'm off the hook!

You are cheerful? Sociable? Self-assured? Are you admired? Are you respected? Congratulations, you got drunk!

First, the nannies and creches are to blame. Then - teachers and kindergarten. Then family and school. Next, management and work are to blame. Next - wife and children...

And the MAN himself is never to blame for anything!

Being a boy is a matter of gender. Being a man is a matter of age. Being a gentleman is a matter of choice. Being an asshole is not a question at all.

“We make billions from the show-off of young people” © Apple

Every time I start to walk towards success, I stumble somewhere between the laptop and the sofa.

A man does 90% of what he promised to do... A woman does 90% of what she promised NOT TO DO EVER IN LIFE.

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Status is not only your social position in society, but also a laconic statement that describes your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Statuses can be sad, happy, positive, about love, friendship, betrayal, etc. We share our statuses with friends on social networks. To cheer everyone up (including yourself), you can select positive options and post them on your page.

The most positive statuses: examples

  • A real alcoholic drinks once a day - from morning to evening.
  • Sign in the student canteen: Do not feed cutlets to cats, two unfortunate creatures have already been poisoned!
  • The secret of happiness: never compare your health, wife and salary with others.
  • The kiss was invented by a man to silence a woman, at least for a minute.
  • If a fool is decently dressed, is always well-fed and smiles at life, then he is not so stupid.
  • There are no dead ends. There are unbroken tunnels.
  • There are three troubles in Russia: fools, roads, and the fools who make these roads.
  • If time is running out for you, don't worry. Simply remove the battery from your watch and enjoy life.
  • What makes a good day is not the date or the weather, but the people.
  • If life fails, accept it as a new design; and, taking this opportunity, change the interior and change the atmosphere.
  • Positive thinking is when you fell down the stairs and you think: Wow... How quickly I went down!
  • Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror.
  • A bald spot is a clearing trampled by thoughts.
  • If people constantly laugh at you, it means you bring joy to people.

Statuses for social networks: positive and funny


  • Let go of all the idiots and fools from your life, the circus must tour!
  • Sometimes a smile makes us forget about our problems, sometimes a smile works wonders, it decorates our world. Never stop smiling, even when you are sad, because someone might fall in love with your smile!
  • The stars can be seen better through the slid down roof.
  • Some mistakes in life are too great to make just once!
  • Never despair in life. One person drew a square and called it a picture. Happened. So you will succeed!
  • If you get up on your left foot in the morning, then the day will go well. If it's on the right, even better. And if you can’t get up at all, then it was good yesterday.
  • Life is like a mirror, we get better results when we smile at it.
  • For Russians, signs: Swimming is PROHIBITED!, Don’t get in - YOU WILL KILL!, DO NOT TOUCH with your hands! - it's a challenge!.
  • Well, they were rude to you in the supermarket - don’t worry. Place frozen fish in the bread section.
  • Save your statuses - they will help the psychiatrist with a diagnosis.
  • Life is boring and monotonous. But everything changes when they arrive... Money on the card!
  • That's why lemonade is made from artificial lemon juice, and detergents are made from natural lemon juice?
  • Look at life more cheerfully: after stepping on a rake, enjoy the fireworks.
  • The sun is shining, the cat is purring, the coffee is brewing, a new day awaits us!

Positive statuses are the key Have a good mood. With their help, you can diversify your page on social networks, have fun with your friends and yourself at the same time. Such statuses can be easily found on the Internet, and if you wish, you can come up with them yourself. Have fun, joke and try to be as sad as possible!







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