How to manage everything and learn not to be late. Preparation in the evening

Let's start with a question.

Why be late Badly?

1. Loss of trust. A late person is like a pirate who robs what does not belong to him. IN in this case This . Moments of life are gone forever. A person spends his life languishing in anticipation. Everyone perceives the loss of time quite painfully, some without even realizing it. There is negativity towards the latecomer.

2.Decreased self-esteem. Lateness, most often, cause feelings of guilt and make the latecomer vulnerable. After all, he, trying to somehow atone for his guilt, is inclined to accept a proposal that he does not quite like, is inclined to agree with what does not correspond to his principles, is inclined to remain silent where he wants to speak out against.

3. Cheap attention. There is a category of people (usually women) who try to attract attention to themselves in this way. The question arises: does a person really no longer have any merits that would interest others? Maybe it's worth doing them?

1. This is, of course, a classic, but it is important to prepare in advance for leaving the house, in the evening. Prepare clothes, clean shoes, collect Required documents, a book to read, for travel and lunch, or to put food in a container.

2. Before leaving, it is advisable to bypass it and not even turn it on. Otherwise, viewing email, news on social networks, or a new article on your favorite site can drag on and delay you for n amount of time.

If there is a need for this, the first thing you need to do is get ready to wash, get dressed, do your hair, and then look through your mail. When time X (leaving the house) comes, the computer turns off by pressing one key, and everything else, if you are not ready, cannot be done by pressing one button.

3. Conduct visualization - imagine how you show up on time for a meeting, work, or a date in good mood, with a smile, with a beautiful hairstyle, in neat clothes and polished shoes. You radiate confidence and positivity. It’s a pleasure to work with you, communicate with you, and do business with you.

4. Carry out timing - determine how much time it takes to take a shower, dry and style your hair, have breakfast, clean up and wash the dishes, get dressed, etc. This way you will know how long the preparations will take and, based on this, you will plan them.

5. Use a reserve of 15 minutes for unexpected things to do while getting ready.

6. Do not engage in long conversations on a mobile phone unless they have a sign of special importance on them. this moment. Arrange to call later.

7. Do not try to finish any household chores while getting ready (brush off dust, clean the stove, hammer a nail) if you have not planned them and have not allocated additional time for them.

8. Calculate the travel time, including the time it takes to call and wait for the elevator, plus the minutes it will take to get to the public transport stop or to your car. Sometimes this time is not enough to arrive on time, since it is not taken into account.

9. Leave 15 minutes earlier than the calculated time for the road. Calmness and confidence will pay off.

10. Prepare for yourself interesting activity, which will allow you not to get bored if you arrive early - an interesting book, magazine, new music selection.

11. If you're late, don't make excuses. It's better to briefly apologize and get down to business. Excuses are an additional waste of time and an attempt to get rid of yourself. At these moments, the business, work, meeting for which you were in such a hurry does not begin. Draw conclusions to avoid future lateness.

12. Ask friends for help. Let them stop waiting for you, even if you are late even for a minute. If you know that a person is ready to put up with your unpunctuality, to spend minutes and hours waiting, you will take advantage of this state of affairs, that is, be late. Arriving once at a meeting place where you are no longer expected, you will get a shake-up and an excellent lesson for change.

If a person is used to being late and this is already a chronic process, it takes time and persistence to implement the suggested tips.

Main:

• understand that being late is bad
• desire to break free from this habit,
• gradually introduce methods, step by step
• daily improve the skill of arriving on time,
• work on mistakes if something doesn’t work out
• have the intention to correct your behavior pattern.
• get rid of

And finally, explanatory options:

I'm late because

Before leaving, I saw that my grandmother was playing on the computer and helped her move to another level.

I helped a deaf-mute, one-legged blind man cross the road.

My train has derailed.

The car broke down. I had to push her to the office.

After a sleepless night, I was driving to work on the metro and, having fallen asleep on the ring line, passed my station three or four times.

In the morning I read my horoscope and was upset because it contained nothing but troubles. I decided not to rush to work in order to delay their attack.

I was late because I had a good rest on vacation. This morning I couldn’t fit into my favorite skirt.

I'm late for several reasons. I drive a car - the road is unpredictable, and I consider it unwise to risk my life for 10 minutes of working time.

I was late because I got on the wrong bus, and it started circling pointlessly around the city.

The sleeping pills taken in the evening turned out to be too strong.

This is my second day working at your company. Since today is Monday, a hard day after the weekend, I took the subway and arrived at my old job. And only from the surprised look of my former director did I understand that I had come to the wrong place.

I spent the whole night writing an explanation about being late for work yesterday and therefore overslept.
I was 40 minutes late for work due to a thoughtless purchase of fruit from the metro.

On June 16, I came to work late due to the inability to lock the front door of the apartment when leaving the house, due to the removal of my keys by a person of the opposite sex to me, who is my roommate, due to his innate absent-mindedness and forgetfulness, as a result of which I had to wait prompt return of the above-mentioned person back, in order to return to me the keys he accidentally took away front door my home.

Got lost.

I was late for work on purpose. I wanted to see how it would end.

The bus driver was in a hurry and did not want to stop.

When I left the house, a sandstorm began.

Yesterday I fell off my horse, didn’t get enough sleep and was late.

I was absent from work on July 15 for a valid reason, which I cannot go into here.

What is closer to you: to explain or to be punctual?

Got stuck in an elevator, carried my grandmother across the street, took a cat out of a tree, got the time wrong, overslept, forgot about a meeting - all kinds of excuses that chronically late people come up with. It seems that there is no way out of this vicious circle, when you don’t have time to do anything and arrive everywhere later than expected. The habit of being late has become ingrained over the years and has become second nature. But psychologists say: you can develop punctuality at any age. “This is a character trait and it is formed,” explains Natalya Kora, a psychologist and associate professor of the Department of Psychology and Pedagogy at AmSU. - Anyone who wants to be punctual can become so. All you need is willpower and daily control. AP has collected some tips that will help you learn not to be late and form a new habit.

Tip 1: Start from scratch

You can learn to be punctual at any age. Even if you are already a mature person, you should not despair.

- You need to understand that it is never too late. If a person realizes that he no longer wants to be late, he can start from scratch at any age stage. She will be able to pull herself together and begin to control her life,” Natalya Kora assures.

At the same time, if you didn’t succeed in learning punctuality the first, second, or third time, you shouldn’t give up and reproach yourself. Firstly, depending on the type of temperament, the time it takes to develop a new habit will be different for everyone. Secondly, the environment also plays a role. social environment. And if success has not yet come after a month, this does not mean that it will not come in two. The main thing is not to stop.

“We need to analyze why it doesn’t work out and the delays continue,” the psychologist teaches. - At the same time, do not blame others, but understand what you yourself needed to do in order for everything to work out. Even if the meeting has already failed, analyze what was done wrong. Take experience from a negative situation and learn from it. Our subconscious creates a matrix, a kind of program. When a similar situation arises, this experience will be transferred to it and will help to avoid mistakes.

Tip 2: Find motivation

First you need to realize whether you want to become a punctual person. If such a desire is present, find motivation for yourself.

— As soon as a person realizes that being late prevents him from earning money, making a career, or, for example, getting along with friends, we can assume that he has already embarked on the path to success. If a person is highly motivated and, for example, is under threat of being fired, he will pull himself together and even change within a week: he will arrive 5 minutes earlier, submit a report a day earlier. Over time, all this will become a habit,” explains Natalya Alekseevna.

Another way to motivate yourself is to think about the consequences and imagine what will happen if you are late. It is unlikely that anyone would like to feel guilty for this reason or spoil relationships with people.

Tip 3: Reward yourself

Another way to motivate yourself is to reward yourself. If you haven't been late even once all day, treat yourself to something nice. For example, eat something tasty or go to a movie good film. Everyone can have their own reward system.

But if another failure occurs and you are very late, you can punish yourself for it. For example, having made in the house general cleaning. Voluntary punishment in the form of some unpleasant task is another way of motivation that will help you develop the habit of coming to meetings and getting things done on time.

Tip 4: Prepare the night before

- Organize yourself correctly. Get ready in the evening for tomorrow. This is elementary: think in advance what you will wear in the morning, what you will have for breakfast, who will take the children to kindergarten, prepare documents in advance, pack a briefcase with the children, and so on. You can save time on all this, teaches Natalya Kora.

Daily planning is another way to learn how to do everything on time. You can write things down in a regular notebook or in electronic diary on your phone or tablet. In this case, you need to set priorities, highlighting the most important tasks and indicating the time for their completion.

- This is also done in the evening, it is not left until the morning. Our subconscious works, the brain programs,” explains the psychologist. — If you plan daily, over time your brain will learn to prioritize tasks without writing them down.

Tip 5: Changing the clocks won't help.

Psychologists advise: to be punctual, get yourself a watch. Whether they are on your wrist or on your phone is not so important. The main thing is that they are always with you. Interestingly, the method of moving the clock by 10-15 minutes will not help not to be late.

Instead, it is better to think of backup options for how to get to the meeting point. In case your vehicle breaks down or there is a traffic jam on the road. It’s best to just immediately plan for yourself to show up at the meeting earlier. It's better than being late.

Tip 6: If you're late, don't make excuses

Making excuses for being late is the same as abdicating responsibility for your wrongdoing and shifting the blame to other people or the situation.

“If you’re late, just apologize, and that’s all.” Don't explain. If they ask, then yes, you can briefly tell what the reason is, but without going into details, the psychologist recommends.

Tip 7: If you’re late, give a warning

At first, you can ask for help from family or friends who will help you control yourself. If you are going to a meeting, agree in advance that your assistant will wait for you no more than five minutes. In addition, meet in a convenient place, for example, in a cafe, and not on the street: if you are late in bad weather, the person waiting will not be so nervous.

In addition, train yourself to warn the other party if you are delayed. This will help you control yourself.

Tip 8: Value your and other people's time

“A punctual person values ​​his time, knows how to distribute it rationally, he respects himself and, therefore, respects other people,” says the specialist.

The inability to follow any time frame indicates that a person does not think about the future and may have problems with self-esteem. He faces not only the loss of his business reputation and, in some cases, money, but also damaged relationships with colleagues and friends. After all, few people want to waste their precious time with a chronically late person.

Tip 9: Take a lazy day

If a person overloads himself with work and does not give the body time to rest, the body begins to protest. A workaholic loses so much energy that no matter how hard he tries to control himself, he still begins to miss the most important things. Many people start being late for meetings or forgetting about them because of fatigue.

— A tired brain is no longer able to control everything. In such a situation, you need to set aside one day to be lazy. Just relax. Otherwise, problems cannot be avoided,” explains Natalia Kora.

Tip 10: Teach your child to be punctual

You actually need to learn to arrive on time and do things on time from childhood. Therefore, parents should take care to teach this to their child. For many people who like to be late, punctuality as a character trait was not instilled in them by their parents in childhood.

— Teach your child how to navigate the dial. Buy him wrist watch or a phone with a watch. The child should develop the habit of keeping track of time. And, if on some day there is suddenly no clock, he should not hesitate to ask passers-by for the time, the psychologist gives a recommendation. - Be calm about the fact that the child will not initially comply with the strictly prescribed time frame. Your task is not to be nervous or angry with your offspring. Otherwise, you will develop anxiety, absent-mindedness and even fear in him, and as a result he will begin to rush from side to side.

In addition, the child must be given the opportunity to be responsible for his own tardiness. If you didn’t come to class on time, let him explain to the teacher the reason for his lateness. Then a sense of responsibility will come.

• Countdown
• Listen to yourself
• Pay attention to others
• Dealing with the tardiness of others

Our life picks up pace every day, becoming faster and faster. In order to achieve success in any field, you need to join this rhythm and correspond to it. Therefore, every person must be able to think, make decisions and act as quickly as possible. One of the secrets to being productive is punctuality. Most of successful people followed this principle, they performed their duties on time. For these people it is simply impossible to be late; they will always arrive on time for a business or personal meeting. It is better for them to arrive early than to make business partners wait even a minute.

Due to the frantic pace of life, we all encounter delays. This problem has long grown into the main scourge of our time. Moreover, delays can be associated with various factors. Some were delayed due to a sudden traffic jam, due to transport problems beyond their control. Others may be late because they don't know how to manage your time. Such people constantly arrive later than scheduled, as if being late is something everyday and ordinary for them. Often such people get used to arriving at the wrong time, especially if they do not receive punishment for their inability to plan the day. But this cannot continue for long; at one point being late will cause serious problems and loss of trust. The habit of not following a schedule can lead to a reprimand or fine, and can change the opinions of other people in negative side. Sooner or later, retribution for unpunctuality will come.

There are many ways to stop being late, how to learn to plan your time and arrive on time. The main thing here is desire and perseverance. If you want to be punctual, you can use general rules that we have collected for you. Following these recommendations will teach you how to rationally distribute your time.

Countdown

For example, you are waiting for a serious meeting where you need to provide a report. The meeting starts at 12 o'clock. But before that, you need to do a lot of small things - talk with colleagues, prepare the necessary documents, make important calls. All these little things need to be planned out. Even if they require a minute of your time. It's best to make this plan in advance. Keep in mind that you are not prone to punctuality, so be realistic about the time it will take for each task. It is also worthwhile to arrange the order in which they are performed so that it is as convenient as possible for you. After this, you can distribute the time of the coming morning by minute. If the meeting starts at 12, then at 11:57 you need to be ready and leave the office, heading to the conference room. At 11:50 you should make sure that everything is ready for the future meeting, you have not forgotten the documents that will be required for the report. At 11:40 there will be a short break before the upcoming performance. At 11:35 you must hang up after the last phone call. It won't take more than half an hour to create this plan, but you can develop the habit of using your time wisely. Soon you will learn to do this automatically.

People and devices are your assistants

Having your own secretary is a great opportunity to keep all your daily affairs in order and not be late. Moreover, the secretary must be punctual and disciplined. He will be able to remind you of an important meeting, literally kick you out of the office so you can make it on time. Those people who have not yet acquired a secretary can be advised to use a timer. He will tell you when to start another task in order to get everything done, and will make you stop being late for work. If you are afraid of being late for a meeting that will be on the other side of the city, then add another half hour to the travel time. Then you will definitely arrive on time.

Listen to yourself

Sometimes systematic procrastination is a symptom of insufficient rest. If there is nothing in your life except business and work, if you have overloaded yourself, then your body may be distracted, forcing you to rest a little. This is a normal reaction and you should accept it. Highlight certain time, when you can relax quietly. At the same time, you cannot reproach yourself or resist rest. If you begin to feel remorse, try to force yourself to work through force, and feel ashamed of your own rest, then nothing good will come of it. Give your body time to relax. And then he will not be distracted by trifles. And nothing will interfere with your business, your determination and punctuality.

Pay attention to others

This method of not being late has a name - motivation by consequences. You should always think about the future when you are planning a meeting. Is it worth being distracted by unimportant activities if they cause you to be late for an important meeting? Will you break your promises if you choose the Internet over fees? How will the person you keep waiting react to your lateness? Will he be disposed to productive contact after this? Does it make sense to sacrifice good relationships for minor and unimportant matters? Once you answer all these questions, think about how your punctuality can benefit you in the future. There is nothing difficult about leaving the house early. And there's nothing wrong with arriving a little early. But the benefits of punctuality can be priceless. Moreover, you yourself will feel the beneficial effect of your accuracy - you will understand that you have begun to get rid of the bad habit of being late.

Dealing with the tardiness of others

The problem of being late can be twofold. After all, not only are we late, but people are late to us too. This is very annoying, but there is a way out of this situation.

Sometimes other people's lateness is interpreted incorrectly. We begin to blame people for neglecting ourselves. We believe that they only arrive on time at our meetings, but with other people they behave more precisely and punctually.

But most often this is not true. If a person is late, then he is late everywhere, not just for your meetings. You can come to terms with this character trait and take it for granted. Many people try to remake, change their friend or colleague, to force him stop being late for work or to meetings. Then difficulties arise. This behavior is defined as responsibility for other people's actions and shortcomings. If you fail in your attempts to change your friend, you immediately receive a charge of negative emotions, which, naturally, do not benefit you. But you can rid yourself of negativity by observing simple rules during meetings with a chronically late person:

• teach him to report his own lateness;
• Bring a book or documents with you that can be corrected during a long wait so as not to waste time;
• Don't make appointments on the street. It is better to wait for a late person in a cafe, at home or in the office than to hang around in the cold or heat;
• You shouldn’t build a busy schedule after the meeting. If a person arrives at the wrong time, then you will not disrupt subsequent plans;
• you don’t have to tie the meeting to a specific time;
• limit your communication time. The interlocutor must understand that his lateness will negatively affect the outcome of the meeting, since he is also stealing his time. You can also discuss how long you will wait for him to get him to get ready faster.

You can play on envy. Show that you had a wonderful and fun time without him. It is likely that your friend will be more punctual next time so as not to miss something interesting.

You shouldn’t blame anyone for your lateness, only you are to blame for not knowing how to plan time. Be honest with yourself. As King Louis XVIII said, “L’exatitude est la politesse des rois,” which translated means “Precision is the politeness of kings.” To succeed, to show other people that you are responsible and punctual, that you can be relied upon, you just need to learn the rules. It's not that hard, put in the effort and become the master of your life.

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There are few people who are tolerant of people who are late. We are annoyed by friends or colleagues who can never manage time correctly and show up on time for a meeting or work. Moreover, the sediment remains, even if you have to wait for just five minutes, and the employee’s tardiness does not in any way affect our personal workload.

The point, obviously, is that punctuality is not only a manifestation of discipline, composure, responsibility, but also respect for others. Consequently, unpunctuality is a sign of the exact opposite attitude.

One of my friends was constantly late. Sometimes it seemed to me that in this way she, perhaps subconsciously, was trying to attract attention to herself, to force people to think and talk about her, even in a negative aspect.

Imagine: several ladies are already sitting at a table in a cafe, looking impatiently at their watches, disapprovingly mentioning someone who is late, and then she flies in - excited, beaming - and all eyes are fixed on her, reproaches are forgotten - how can you be angry with a person who can smile so much! “Sit down, darling! How beautiful you look, how are you doing...” Talk only about her, all attention to her person...

But one day even her wonderful smile did not help. I felt so hurt by my friend’s latest lateness that I didn’t communicate with her for two months. Then, of course, she forgave me, and she, apparently, understood something, because since then she has not been late for a meeting with me. So, you can be punctual if you want?

However, psychologists are not so sure about this. They quite seriously believe that breaking the habit of being late is no easier than quitting smoking. And they even developed a whole program to get rid of this vice.

Find the reason

There may be several reasons for being late.

First

A person simply has no sense of time. I knew one lady who could arrange an appointment in, say, twenty minutes, and then go wash her hair. It is clear that the subsequent drying and styling of her hair lasted for a whole hour, and the person with whom she was supposed to meet was impatient, glancing at his watch.

Second

The desire to attract attention at any cost (as in the case of my friend).

Third

A person is late because he doesn’t like the work he is doing or the people around him, so he figures out how to stay late. Moreover, it turns out that he subconsciously strives to be fired!

Fourth

It is difficult for a person to wake up in the morning - either because of chronic lack of sleep, or because he is a “morning person” and goes to bed late. Therefore, getting up early in the morning is an unimaginably difficult task for him.

In this case, psychologists advise planning your morning minute by minute. For example, you must be at work at 9 o’clock. Light gymnastics and shower - 15 minutes, to get dressed and do makeup - the same amount. In order to make oatmeal, coffee and have breakfast in a relaxed atmosphere, and even leaf through an interesting magazine, it will take 20 minutes. And 40 minutes to get to work. In total, all preparations will take about an hour. So you should wake up at 7:20. And, aware of your inability to sense the passage of time, look at the dial more often when getting ready for work.

3. Prepare for the exit in advance

If you sit down to drink coffee in pajamas or a bathrobe (after a shower), and at the same time start checking email and answer emails, or delve into an interesting article, you may wake up five minutes before leaving. According to experts, before having breakfast, get dressed, do your makeup, and pack your bag. And if you get carried away with something while having breakfast, you will agree that it will take much less time to turn off the computer than to get ready.

3. Don't stay up late

You will stop being late if you get up on time. The inability to lift your head from the pillow in the morning is directly related to sitting in front of the TV or computer until midnight. To get enough sleep, you need to go to bed before 12. The advice is, of course, unoriginal, but proven. In addition, it is known that too strong emotions do not contribute to falling asleep quickly, and if you watched boxing or a horror movie at night, it is unlikely that you will be able to fall asleep without problems after that. It is best, of course, to read for half an hour - reading, as you know, puts you to sleep no worse than valerian tincture.

4. Two alarm clocks are better than one

Sometimes, having woken up from the alarm, we turn it off and immediately fall back to sleep. It’s good if the alarm clock has a snooze function, but if it doesn’t, you’ll oversleep and be late. So it’s better to set another alarm clock in the evening, but place it away from the bed. When it rings, you have to get up to turn it off.

5. Preparation in the evening

Remember, since childhood we were taught to pack our briefcase before going to bed. Not everyone benefits from science, but it is never too late to try to become an exemplary boy or girl. So, think about what you would like to wear in the morning, iron the chosen item, select accessories, wash and polish your shoes. Then pack your bag: check if your keys, documents, wallet, and cosmetic bag are there. After this, prepare the food that you will take to work: cut sandwiches, pour soup into a container and leave it in the refrigerator until the morning. Decide what you will have for breakfast, and if it’s oatmeal, then steam it now.

6. Don't do favors for people in your household.

If your husband suddenly finds his shirt wrinkled and asks you to iron it, gently but firmly refuse. It's high time you learned how to iron your own things! Let him start right now. In the meantime, you can calmly finish your business and leave the house on time.

7. Calculate travel time correctly

If you commute to work by car or public transport, then you usually think: I’m driving for about forty minutes, meaning pure driving. But let’s say you still need to get to the metro or parking lot, and this also takes time. If you don't take it into account, you won't invest in your forty minutes and will be late again.

8. Create entertainment

If you have a dentist appointment or a business meeting, it's hard to force yourself to show up half an hour early. What will I do, you think. Take an interesting magazine with you or sit in a nearby cafe. Or maybe in the area you need there is a beautiful park that you haven’t been to for a long time, or a bookstore, or something else interesting, where you can usefully spend time and not be late.

9. Ask your friends to be stricter

In my own experience, my friend was late for a meeting with me for years until I was lenient about it. As soon as I sharply expressed my displeasure, and then did not communicate with her at all for some time, she immediately got rid of her vice.

So ask your friends to be stricter with you: not to wait for you for half an hour and not to accept your explanations.

10. Feel like a monster

Yes, it is unpleasant, but very sobering. Remember how many times you were late for a variety of meetings, from friendly to business, how many people you kept waiting. Yes, you behaved simply outrageous! And the more shame you experience, the better. This will help you heal.

11. The main thing is motivation

Understanding that constant lateness jeopardizes your career, steals lucrative contracts and clients from under your nose, prevents you from making money, and has a bad effect on relationships with friends - already gives you the strength and opportunity to overcome your shortcoming. A highly motivated person is capable of incredible efforts on himself. If he knows that it is simply dangerous to test the boss’s patience any longer, he will appear in the office first and submit reports before everyone else.

One type of motivation is reward. If you haven't been late once in a day or a week, treat yourself to something: a chocolate bar or a glass of excellent wine. And if, more than expected, you are late again, come up with a punishment. For example, unscheduled cleaning or cooking some complex dish.

Each of us has been late somewhere at least once. Cars break down, there are traffic jams on the roads; You might oversleep unexpectedly, or you urgently need to take your child to the doctor, or maybe you were delayed while picking up your laundry from the dry cleaner. However, for some, being late is not an isolated episode caused by unforeseen circumstances. For some, being late is a way of self-expression and a way of life. The problem is that in a society where speed determines how dedicated you are to your work, school, relationships, etc., this lifestyle is highly suspect. If chronic tardiness has gotten the better of you and has become a habit, you're likely missing out on job offers, great opportunities, friendships, and more because you let tardiness rule your life. Yes, you are the one allowing them to do this, and it's time to do something about it before you miss out on even more opportunities or even lose friends. This article is for those who are constantly late. It examines the deep psychological aspects of endless lateness that have become a habit. Tips on how to be on time when the problem is occasional lateness can be found in the article “How to be punctual.”

Steps

Recognize that being late is rude. There are cultures where being late is considered normal and even desirable, but if you live in a culture that values ​​being on time and paying attention to the clock, you will have to develop the traits of punctuality at least in those areas of your life where being late can affect your satisfaction with life and Communicate effectively with people Unless you have a ton of money and live in a creative environment where lateness is tolerated, you need to accept that being on time is the norm. So save procrastination for vacations or other occasions when being late doesn't mean that much.

• Don't forget, you can give examples of any number of cultures that value lateness (some use this as an excuse), but these arguments will not convince your boss, your interviewing manager, your child's teacher, or anyone else. there was someone waiting for you to arrive on time.

1. Determine the reason for your constant lateness and ask yourself why you haven't done anything about it yet. Being late can be a sign of various psychological problems. Dr. Kate Ablow highlights the following: 1) a way to relieve anxiety; 2) a way to make others respect you; 3) a way to check how much others love you. There are several other reasons, for example, disorganization or excessive optimism. In each of these cases, there is often a psychological need that causes you to be late instead of solving the main problem. To understand whether these reasons apply to you, ask yourself a few questions:

   • Anxiety Relief: Do you feel extremely depressed about things you feel you can't do, don't want to do, or can't find the resources to do? Perhaps, instead of looking for a solution, you are simply late for various events or meetings in order to take your mind off your anxiety?
   • Trying to gain respect: Do you use lateness as a way to make sure other people are waiting for you and can't start without you? Do you feel superior to others because people have to wait for you?
   • Love test: Does waiting serve as a kind of confirmation to you that people are willing to sacrifice their time and business for you? Does this mean to you that they really love you, no matter how you treat them?
   • Clutter is a sign of talent and dedication: Are you missing deadlines because you've worked so hard and are so tired that you find it harder to complete things than if you had stayed calm and focused?
     Do you feel like you have to be constantly busy in order for people to appreciate you?
   • Optimism will get us to the right place on time: do you often overestimate travel time, work time or time remaining before the deadline? Maybe you are confident that no matter what happens, you will cope with the task on the go?

2. To cope with anxiety, plan. If the reason you're late is because you're worried about prices, your behavior, getting there, or anything else, having a plan in advance can help you manage your anxiety and arrive on time. For example, if you don't like being on time for your workout because deep down you don't want others to see your clumsiness, you can plan to work through the problem instead of avoiding it. Schedule a few private lessons to overcome clumsiness in exercise. Or talk to a coach about your fears. Or choose a place where you can follow the steps of others without being seen. Planning helps you figure out how to deal with obstacles. Here are other ways to plan to avoid the anxiety that causes tardiness:

   • Gather all the notes, materials and everything you need well in advance of the event so that all you have to do on the day is grab them. If you find it difficult to get up in the morning, do everything you can in the evening.
   • Talk about your concern with someone you fear. Instead of avoiding this person by constantly being late, plan to chat with him a little and politely discuss what about his behavior bothers you. Of course, be diplomatic, but it is always better to deal with the problem than to avoid it.
   • If the reason you are late is because you are worried about money, tell your friends that you are in a difficult financial situation and cannot yet afford to order the same food as them and go to the same places. Attend only those events that are cheaper, or explain that you can’t afford everything - this way you won’t have to be late, and you will make a choice that your friends will know about.

3. Stop using being late as evidence of your power over people. If this is why you're running late, it's time to stop before your number of friends and colleagues you can trust dwindles. In such a situation, everyone understands what is happening, but most likely tolerates it only because they need something from you, and not out of real respect. Analyze how you feel knowing the real reason why people put up with your tardiness is definitely not a well-deserved authority. It is worth realizing that soon someone may rebel and bring you down to earth - perhaps publicly. It won't show you in the best light.

   Fuel your self-esteem from internal sources. If you have to be late to test the loyalty of your loved ones, you are clearly lacking something - in particular, self-love. Remind yourself that you don't need others to constantly prove that they care about you by sacrificing their time. Eventually they will get tired of it, even years later, and you will be deeply shocked to hear that no one is going to wait for you anymore. Try to see a sign of love and an invitation to be part of a team in the fact that people are on time, and not in weakness and uncertainty. And if your self-esteem is too low, don’t miss the chance to raise it - it will improve your life in all respects.

   • You can find advice on this topic in the articles “How to Raise Self-Esteem” and “How to Improve Self-Esteem.”

4. Relax. If by being late you prove your own importance and indispensability, you seriously risk going to the grave due to stress! A person who is constantly fussing, trying to fulfill all the points of his busy schedule and complaining that he does not have time to do anything, turns a completely calm and peaceful activity into a crazy, unsystematic race, and this, in turn, entails new delays. By becoming calmer, you can significantly reduce the extent of your tardiness. You will not benefit from choosing the most difficult path - the decision is yours. Remind yourself that the calmer you are, the easier it is for you to concentrate, which means you are much more likely to get everything done.

   • Let's say, imagine - someone is preparing a festive dinner for the whole family. This person has a choice - to cook relaxed and calm, or hectic and disorganized. Perhaps, if those around him are accustomed to preparing holiday dinners in crazy chaos, he himself does the same thing, which turns into a bad habit. There's really no need to exhaust yourself with preparation - it's not a sign of enthusiasm or experience at all. It is much easier to calm down, relax and surrender to the flow.

5. Combine optimism with a sober outlook on life. Everyone loves an optimist, but even such a wonderful impulse can go too far, turning into “magical thinking” instead of real results. As with anxiety, optimistically overestimating your ability to get from point A to point B quickly during rush hour or completing everything before a deadline is a result of a lack of planning. Stay optimistic, but manage it with clear plans that include possible contingencies that could delay you, such as traffic jams, leaking ink, or problems with household appliances. Make plans A, B and C so you are prepared for an emergency route. This doesn't mean you have to imagine the worst-case scenario every time - just think about possible obstacles in advance. Thinking ahead can greatly help you deal with tardiness.

6. Organize your routine. If you tend to cram too many meetings into the same day or have a hard time saying no to people, this could be causing you to be late by juggling too many appointments. large quantity business. Even if you have the best intentions, unfortunately, this cannot serve as an excuse for being late, especially if the person does not know that you rarely arrive on time. It is much easier to plan a daily routine so that its points do not overlap each other - it is worth taking breaks between meetings. Remember how important it is to recover and switch attention; it is your duty both to yourself and to those with whom you make appointments.

   • Take a look at your planner. Does it contain too many promises that are difficult to keep? Think about rearranging the appointments you've already made and making fewer appointments in the future - this will allow you to focus on quality rather than quantity by making time for people you know.
   • Some tasks should be delegated to someone else. Surely there are people who could do some things perfectly well - from family members to staff at work. Do only what you have time for. Taking on too much is bad for both your health and your interactions with others. To learn how to say “no,” read the article “How to Stop Pleasing Everyone.”
   • Learn to leave time between tasks and meetings. Rushing here and there, without giving yourself breaks, very soon becomes unbearable. Politicians have exactly the same schedule, but they have a lot of workers who do everything for them - what about you? No, so don't try to be superhuman to avoid crashing. Breaks also serve as a buffer that allows you to stay late at one event and still be on time for the next one.

7. Respect time. Once you start valuing your time, you can set limits on time-consuming activities, like reading email instead of going to bed on time. Your time is valuable, and your duty to yourself is to learn to handle it carefully in order to fill it with things yourself, and not to go with the flow without plans and clear boundaries. By respecting your time, you will be able to respect other people’s, realizing that you force Waiting for people is a waste of their valuable time.

   • Contact over time requires direct focus on it. People who are late often do not understand that time should be used correctly to get the most out of life. Meditation is good for helping you become aware of time; other ways are to write down all meetings in a diary, plan your day every morning, read about the very concept of time. Surprise yourself - try to find out everything about what you avoided even thinking about!
   • Watch out for time traps. Because of modern technologies we constantly feel the need to be online or connected. However, by doing this, you risk wasting time on this, during which you could do something more productive and enjoyable. You may think that being constantly in touch is rational and allows you to stay informed. latest information, but you can simply stop noticing the passage of time. When you find technology taking up your time, remind yourself that you control it, not they control you. If you find yourself late for meetings while checking email or playing computer games, it's time to change your priorities.
   • Go to DeathClock.com and see how much time you actually have left. Your personal results may be enough to motivate you to make better use of your time!

8. Stop convincing yourself that you are just the kind of person who is always late. Every time someone jokes that you'd be "late even for your own funeral," you run the risk of that label sticking to you. By agreeing with comments like these ("Oh yeah, I'm always late, everyone knows that"), you're subconsciously sending a message yourself that you are just such a person. Stop calling yourself the person who is always late. Mentally talk to yourself, replacing your “cult-like tardiness” with “positive punctuality.” Say to yourself, for example, the following:

   • “I always come to meetings on time.”
   • "I'm punctual."
   • “I respect my time and make the most of it by always being on time.”
   • “I take everything I can from life, putting nothing aside.”
   • “My power is in my punctuality.”
   • “I am a great leader because I am always on time, freeing up my employees/colleagues/teammates’ time to do creative, productive, and interesting things.”
   • “I follow a schedule. I am calm. Everything I work on happens on time.”

9. View punctuality as a positive trait. Being late shows you as someone who is inconsiderate of others, while being on time is an obvious expression of your respect. You can't give people back the time they lost waiting for you, so it's disrespectful to assume you have the right to take it away from them for no reason. According to Peggy Post, absolute punctuality is required in the following situations:

   • Interview: here being even half a minute late is too much. If you want to get a job, always show up for interviews on time.
   • Business meeting. Arrive on time or even early to prepare for presentations, etc. You shouldn't make people wait while you launch the Power Point or change the chairs, because this can be done before anyone else arrives.
   • Lunch or dinner. The cook deserves respect and the food gets cold quickly, so never be late for lunch or dinner. In case of a date at a restaurant, arrive no later than five minutes after the appointed time; if you are invited to a dinner party, calculate the time so as not to arrive earlier while the host is still finishing preparations, and no later than ten to fifteen minutes after the appointed hour. If your country has different standards, check with the hosts about the best time to come. If you realize that you don’t have time, call the owner of the house and warn him.
   • Meeting at the cinema or theater. If you need to purchase tickets, please arrive early to account for long lines. If tickets have already been purchased, arrive approximately 10 minutes before the start of the performance or movie.
   • Appointment with a specialist (doctor, dentist, hairdresser, etc.). For them, time is money. By being late, you reduce their salary and take time away from the next clients. If you are running late, call ahead.
   • Set an alarm on your phone to remind yourself to be on time. If you start ignoring him, change the tune.
   • Change your way of thinking and reassess your priorities.
   • Do you have a wristwatch or phone with you? You can be late because you don't know what time it is. Reorganize your life so that you always have access to a watch.
   • Punctual friends or relatives can help you by warning you when you are in danger of being late and encouraging you. Also, don't be surprised if they leave without you if you keep them waiting, or simply ask them to stop waiting for you. This will relieve them of guilt and make you hurry up.
   • Naturally, as always in life, there are exceptions. Accidental delays due to unexpected traffic jams, child illness, accident, etc. – this is quite forgivable. However, it is unacceptable to constantly use such excuses. In our age mobile phones The politest thing to do is to call and explain what happened.
   • Always have change with you to pay for parking, the bus, or a cup of coffee. Then you won't have to be delayed because you don't have any money with you or are looking for an ATM.
   • Go to bed earlier so you can get up earlier.
   • You can set your watch five minutes ahead - you will know that it is in a hurry, and try to do everything five minutes earlier.

   Warnings

   • If you are given a warning about being late for work, take it seriously. Chances are your punctuality will be continually assessed from the moment you are warned, so there is no chance for a second mistake.
   • The rudeness of being late is only made worse if you hide the reason for it. For many people, not knowing is the same as the possibility that something terrible has happened to you. If you can't help but be late, at least, be polite and let people know you're late because of something really important.