I want to go to kindergarten what to do. The child refuses to go to kindergarten: recommendations of psychologists

"I don't want to children's sa-a-a-d! I won't go-u-u-u!" You hear these heartbreaking cries every morning now. Sometimes mournful groans are added to the cries about the fact that the precious child has a stomachache, a headache, and in general he is sick of the garden. In the literal and figurative sense of the word. And in more severe cases, the child actually has a fever, abdominal pain and chronic diseases worsen.

What to do in such a situation? To begin with, figure out why your baby does not agree to join the children's team for any price. And there may be several reasons for this.

Lifestyle change

Children are the greatest conservatives in the world. It only at first glance seems that they are constantly striving for new adventures and experiences. In fact, the usual rhythm, when they know exactly how one event follows another, is order and calm in their lives. And here - in the morning, my mother takes me to an unfamiliar aunt, where, besides you, my beloved, it turns out, there are still a lot of other children, she leaves them to the mercy of fate and it is not known whether you will ever see her again. In the garden, everything is alien - and, probably, therefore hostile.

Exit

Gradually teach your baby to change the regime. If he is used to going to bed late and getting up late, you will have to carefully transfer the baby to an earlier rise. This is not at all scary, the regime change occurs within 3-4 days. When the lifestyle changes dramatically, it is important to keep a “piece of home” for the child. The best option- if you can agree with the head and the teacher that you can be present in the group with the child during the first week.

By the way, in many kindergartens such agreements are practiced on a completely official basis, and in Waldorf kindergartens, the teachers themselves insistently ask the mother to be in the group with the child for at least ten days.

If for some reason this is not possible, think of some nice little thing that will remind your baby of home. It can be a soft toy (it's so nice to fall asleep with it!), The usual food in a small container (preferably not very dirty - a carrot or an apple will do). Or you might want to make a good luck charm for your little one, such as a small, flat toy that you can always carry in a pocket or on a string. When her little owner is sad, let him remember the “magic talisman”, and he will certainly help to cope with unhappy thoughts.

unusual food

Remember your childhood - probably in your kindergarten there was some special "masterpiece" of local chefs that caused you not the most pleasant feelings. The notorious milk foam, jelly, milk porridge or soup with onions - everyone has their own memories. Sometimes educators try too zealously to feed their wards, they demand to eat everything to the crumbs, at a fast pace - this is also not for everyone.

Exit

If your kid flatly refuses to eat in kindergarten, agree with the teachers so that they do not insist on this process. After all, no child has yet voluntarily starved to death. At home, in front of the garden, it is quite possible to do without breakfast - it is more likely that by the time breakfast is in the kindergarten, the baby will have time to get hungry and want to try something from the common table.

If, according to garden rules, a child is allowed to take some food from home, then let it be beautifully chopped fruits (apples, pears), vegetables (cucumber or carrots), and a banana will do. Try not to give your child sweets like sweets or cookies, these treats, of course, can console you at first, but they will cause an unhealthy stir in the team and completely ruin your appetite.

Unloved teacher

This is a serious problem, and ideally it would be good to solve it before the child enters the kindergarten. It is not for nothing that psychologists recommend that before you assign a baby to a particular institution, be sure to get acquainted not only with the head and with a set of toys in the group, but also (which is much more important!) With the future teacher. It is she who will spend most of the time with your child. Sometimes it happens that children literally fly at full speed to one teacher, and they don’t even want to approach the other, they cling to their mother.

Exit

First, find out why your baby does not like the teacher. It is not so easy to do this, because not always a small child can tell about his impressions and experiences. But you will come to the aid of special games. In the evening, in a relaxed atmosphere, play with your baby in kindergarten with a set of plush animals or plastic men. You will learn a lot of interesting details for yourself! Let the child choose a role for himself - whether he will play for himself, for his "classmate" or for that same teacher.

When you understand for yourself the meaning of the conflict, try to discuss it with the teacher. If, after this, no positive changes occur (the teacher treats the child cruelly, does not hear him, allows other children to tease and offend your baby), then the situation, alas, is a dead end. We'll have to think about changing the kindergarten or group. Moreover, in this case, it is preferable to change the kindergarten than the group, since in every team there is a certain corporate ethics - including in kindergarten.

Alien among their own

Sometimes it happens that a child, for some reason, does not fit into the children's team, continuing to stay apart. This may be an individual feature - it's just that each child has different communication needs, someone needs to communicate more, someone needs to do with a minimum of "business connections". But if your child has not occupied his niche in the children's group for a year, has spent all this time as if "behind a glass wall", only observing children's life, you should contact a psychologist.

Exit

If your child is struggling to make friends with peers, you will have to take matters into your own hands, as always. Try to gradually expand your social circle (both yours and children's). See which classmate your child likes the most and try to make friends with his parents. Invite them over more often. Perhaps, at first, you will have to actively participate in their games so that your “wild child” can gradually join them himself.

Another important point transitional period - to accustom the baby to the idea that not always only with his mother he can be comfortable and interesting. Ask your father or grandmother to come up with an exciting game with your child in your absence. Good choice for a studio. early development, where children gradually join the children's team, without losing touch with their mother. Other children and their games should be, from your point of view, a very attractive and enjoyable experience. Pay the attention of the baby to how children and fun are interested together, how great they play. Sing, dance with your child, recharge with positive emotions!

What Not to Do

Give in to persuasion and provocation. If, despite all the children's groans and plaintive lamentations, you nevertheless brought the child to the kindergarten door, but at the last moment your parental heart could not stand it and you turned back with the child - this is a very dangerous path. The baby will understand that with tears and screaming he will be able to achieve what he wants, and next time he will only have to slightly increase the volume and intensity of crying.

Take your child to kindergarten every other day or a couple of times a week. In order for kindergarten to become an inevitable reality, the baby must appear there every day (of course, except for weekends). It's better to pick him up early at first. It's okay if you don't leave him there for daytime sleep for the first weeks or even months. Only when the child is fully adapted to the new conditions of life, try to pick him up after a daytime nap.

Themselves afraid of separation from the child. (read more about this on our website:) Children are unusually sensitive. At some subconscious level, all our emotions are transmitted to them - both anxiety and calmness. A heartbreaking scene with tears in the locker room is not the best start to the day for your little one. Release the child with confidence that everything will be fine with him.

How to relieve tension in a child after a day in kindergarten?

The most common source of tension is publicity, the presence of a large number of strangers around. Therefore, it is good if, after a day in kindergarten, the child has the opportunity to retire, stay in a separate room, behind a screen, in a doll corner, etc.

No need to ask him too annoyingly about what happened - he will remember and tell himself when he has a rest.

A child may also miss his parents - therefore, when you bring him home, you should not immediately rush to do household chores. Let him sit on the lap of an adult, let him relax from being touched. Take some time to be alone with him, read or play. Try not to rush too much when taking the child home - a small circle made around the surrounding courtyards will allow him to switch to the evening mode, to change from kindergarten to home environment. It will be better if you do not accompany this with a conversation with any of the friends or parents of other children - as a rule, children really appreciate walking together.

If the child is going to have additional classes, then it should be borne in mind that sports are more likely to contribute to overexcitation, and classes relax in a calm rhythm such as needlework, modeling and other manual labor. The music school is also huge pressure for a child prone to overexcitation.

And it is best to watch your own child - what he instinctively strives for when returning home (whether it be music, pets, an aquarium, a brother or sister, books) - this is a source of spontaneous psychotherapy for him.

Source: Lugovskaya A., Kravtsova M.M., Shevnina O.V. "Child no problem! Reshebnik for parents "- M .: Eksmo, 2008.

The best age for a child to enter kindergarten and successfully and quickly get used to it is from two to three years. The least favorable age for a child to enter kindergarten is four years and a period of five to six years. At this time, the development of the child is relatively stable, and a sharp change in lifestyle associated with the loss of constant communication with loved ones can lead to unpleasant consequences.

It must be borne in mind that at any age, immersion in the atmosphere of a kindergarten community can be perceived by some children as violence against a person, as a loss of individuality. Difficult experiences can lead to negative forms of behavior: tantrums, whims, constant whining on weekends, and sometimes to somatic disorders - fever, abdominal pain and loose stools, exacerbation of chronic diseases.

Because of the unwillingness to go to kindergarten, the child often resorts to manipulating his parents: he cries, acts up, demanding a return to his former home life. He seems to involve adults in a protracted "war", where the question "who wins?" is decided in favor of the parents, then in favor of the baby. The actions of the child are built approximately according to this scheme: first, requests and stories about how bad everything is in the kindergarten are used, if this does not help, tears and tantrums begin, but they do not work, there remains one more remedy that the body subconsciously chooses - illness .

How to facilitate the process of getting used to kindergarten? How to make sure that the child is happy to go to kindergarten?

To begin with, we will try to find out the possible reasons for the negative attitude of the child to kindergarten.

And so, there can be many reasons why a child does not want to go to kindergarten. Let's take a look at the most typical ones.

The most significant reason is the natural reluctance of the child to break away from the home environment and the familiar environment. The kid, unable to think in a time perspective, perceives every separation from his mother and relatives as an irreversible loss. This will last until he learns the new order of meetings and partings for him, gets used to the guys and educators. And in this case, parents and educators need to be patient.

Another reason for the child's reluctance to attend kindergarten is the painfully passing change of regime and environment. Both classes and the daily routine in kindergarten are designed for the average age norm, they sometimes do not take into account the individual characteristics of children. In this regard, many parents are faced with the problem of heavy morning rises or complaints of the child about the torment for him of some moments of the regime, for example, a quiet hour.

Another reason why a child does not want to go to kindergarten is food that is unusual for him.

In kindergarten, three - four meals a day, which ensures the normal functioning and performance of the child's body. however, often parents complain that children do not eat well in kindergarten. this is especially true for dishes such as soups and cereals. If in the home menu we can do without them for quite a long time, then the diet of children's food in kindergarten involves their daily use. Not all children are used to and love to eat these dishes. Individual selectivity also plays an important role here. Someone does not like semolina, buckwheat porridge; someone does not like fish or pea soup, but again there is no choice. If at home we can easily replace one dish with another, then it is much more difficult to do it in the kindergarten. Here there are approved nutritional standards, the purchase of products and their distribution into groups are organized in an organized manner, but replacement (for example, instead of the first course - two second courses) is not provided.

One of the most important and common reasons why a child may refuse to attend kindergarten is an unloved teacher.

Toddlers of two or three years old usually obey quite easily, but among older children there is sure to be a freedom-loving person who will not put up with such restrictions. Such children may organize escapes from kindergarten, which further complicates their relationship with caregivers.

Often the cause of reluctance to go to kindergarten is traumatic circumstances. A kid in kindergarten could be offended by other children, called names, give him a nickname. After such incidents, he no longer wants to communicate with the children who offended him, and sometimes even withdraws into himself.

It happens that, while playing in kindergarten, he inadvertently pushed a friend, hit him in the face with snow or sand. The sight of blood or tears of a peer could make a strong impression on the psyche of the baby. As a result - the rejection of games, walks, in general, from kindergarten.

The reluctance to go to kindergarten can also stem from the child's frequent illnesses.

Frequently ill children who rarely go to kindergarten have few friends, which cannot but worry their parents and caregivers, and the kids themselves suffer from this.

Children's propensity for frequent illness creates an atmosphere of disunity around them. Children over four years old who attend the same group organize joint games that can last for several days. Each child gets his own role in them, acquires a certain social status. If a child often stays at home due to illness, he is excluded from group games. In addition, the strength of friendships between preschoolers is largely determined by the duration of their communication, so often ill children have few or no friends. As a result, they lose their desire to go to kindergarten, because there they become bored and uninterested; they feel lonely.

Thus, there are many reasons why children do not want to go to kindergarten. The task of parents is to help them overcome all the problems discussed above, to do everything possible so that the kids attend kindergarten with pleasure.

Some parents, clenching their will into a fist, forcibly pull a child out of the house, yelling “I don’t want to go to kindergarten!”. Others, having given up under the onslaught of children's tears, turn back and begin to think in a hurry where they can “attach” the baby today. Both the first and second options are not the best way out, because you still have to go to the garden, but you don’t want to get up every morning crying and in a bad mood.

Loving moms and dads dream of seeing their children happy and calm, and for this you need to deal with the causes of the problem. Often, worried adults first of all blame the kindergarten workers, who, in their opinion, do not treat the pupils well enough. However, the reasons for the children's protest can be completely different, so you should not immediately run away with complaints and deal with the teacher or manager in a raised voice.

5 reasons why a child refuses kindergarten

1. The child will have to go through a difficult period of adaptation - to a new way of life, environment, daily routine. If at home the baby can get up at any time, mother and other close people are ready to give him their attention at any moment, then in the kindergarten everything changes dramatically.

Children are waiting for an unfamiliar room, strange aunts, strange children with whom you have to contact, whether you like it or not, as well as new rules and new food. The child is not given as much personal attention to which he is used to, and with all this, for many hours he does not see his relatives. Most children react painfully to this and do not want to go where they are uncomfortable.

In order to at least slightly prepare the little man for the upcoming changes, parents should start accustoming him to a clear schedule in advance (organize getting up, eating and sleeping at the same time).

2. The reluctance to go to kindergarten may be due to difficulties in communicating with other children. Each child is individual. If one quickly finds mutual language with peers, then the other prefers to play by himself or with one or two children that he likes, because of this, conflicts also arise.

conflicts. Some children sometimes choose one of their peers as a target for ridicule. The reason for this may be a non-standard appearance, an unusual demeanor, or even personal achievements.

In such a case, parents cannot control the situation - it is generally impossible to get other children to stop teasing. Here it is necessary to work with YOUR child, teach him to defend himself and adequately respond to ridicule. The little man will have to prepare for the fact that in life there will not always be loving parents and pleasant, benevolent people around.

3. Dislike for kindergarten can be explained by the fact that the child does not like some particular action, event, rule. For example, a baby may not like food, the obligatory lunchtime nap, the process of dressing/undressing for a walk, painting, or having a boy's bed next to him with whom he is not friends. It is necessary to determine the source of irritation, and depending on this, make a decision.
4. Sometimes the reason for tantrums lies not in the kindergarten, but in family problems. In families where adults quarrel or are about to divorce, children are deeply worried about what is happening. Protests against going to kindergarten are one of the manifestations of a child's psycho-emotional stress.
5. And, of course, the problem of the "unloved" educator cannot be ruled out. Difficult relationships with teachers are “guilty” of hatred for kindergarten in about 30% of cases, and both the teacher and the child can be the source of the problem.

Of course, there are mentors that children want to run away from. Usually these are overly demanding educators with an authoritarian style who do not know how to find an approach to the child and demand unquestioning obedience. It is not easy for little fidgets to follow all the rules in a new place, and an inept unbalanced teacher is not able to find a compromise, resulting in conflicts.

On the other hand, for the sake of objectivity, it should be noted that the child himself can create a problem (who, if not parents, knows how difficult it is sometimes with him). It is especially difficult to work with hyperactive, aggressive and spoiled children who do not obey the general requirements, and sometimes deliberately provoke teachers.

In such cases, parents have two options - to change the kindergarten (if it is not possible to establish relations with the teacher) or to contact a child psychologist if correction of the child's behavior is required.

Separately, it should be mentioned that nervous behavior can be explained by age-related characteristics. So, according to psychologists, at the age of 2–2.5 years, children are not yet very interested in their peers, so they miss their mother in the garden. After 3-4 years, the baby is ready to slowly "break away" from his mother's skirt and make new acquaintances, so at this age getting used to kindergarten usually goes faster and easier.

What does a child protest look like?

Having dealt with probable causes dislike for kindergarten Let's pay attention to children's reaction. To make a difference, parents need to know how to behave depending on the type of protest.

• Most often, children express their dissatisfaction with words. Some quite calmly talk at home about what does not suit them in kindergarten life, others throw tantrums without explaining a clear reason (“I don’t want to!”, “I won’t go!”). In any case, parents need to be sure to talk with the child, after reassuring him.
• Often, verbal complaints are accompanied by crying, and the baby may try to influence tears intentionally, counting on parental pity. Do not give in to this feeling, because it will not help the case. As in the previous case, the child needs to be reassured and try to find out what specifically bothers him.
• It is worse when children withdraw into themselves, especially since for some time parents may not be aware of the problem. Increased irritability and aggressiveness, poor sleep, enuresis, more frequent acute respiratory infections - all this may be associated with visiting a kindergarten. In such cases, parents are not always able to extract from the child the answer to what is happening. Most likely, you will need the help of a psychologist.

5 arguments "FOR" kindergarten

When a child is hysterical, does not want to go to kindergarten, some parents think about whether they really need a kindergarten. We’ll sit longer on maternity leave, call a grandmother from the village, or push ourselves and hire a nanny ...

Of course, the final decision depends on the individual characteristics of the family, but parents should consider the following important arguments in favor of education in kindergarten:

1. Social adaptation and communication with other children. Your child will not be able to live his whole life only next to you, where he is loved and cherished. Ahead is school and adult life, where you need to be able to coexist next to other people who are not always good. Sadik gives excellent initial training, during which the little man learns to solve his first problems.
2. Personal development, gaining knowledge and experience. It is rare that parents have a sufficient level of knowledge and skills in various fields. Therefore, in the kindergarten there are more opportunities for teaching children. There they receive the first knowledge about the world around them, go in for physical education, creativity, etc.
3. The development of independence. At home, children are constantly under parental care, while in kindergarten they are motivated to quickly learn everything themselves. After all, they do not want to lag behind peers who know how to dress themselves, make their own bed, sculpt beautiful toys from plasticine, etc.
4. hardening. Sitting at home, children are protected to a certain extent from the influence of the external environment. It is true that when entering kindergarten, many children begin to get sick more often. But the problem lies not in the institution itself, but in reduced immunity. If a child sits at home, the immune defense does not train, and subsequently he will also get sick at school as often, and the kindergarten “hardening” (which means, first of all, preventive measures) helps to strengthen the immune system.
5. Opportunities for parents. The child, of course, remains in the first place, but this does not mean that adults need to put an end to their plans, including career ones. While the child is under reliable supervision in the garden, mom and dad can safely do other important things.

In kindergarten, the baby receives invaluable experience, so it is worth making an effort to overcome temporary difficulties.

6 tips for parents: what to do if the child does not want to go to kindergarten

It happens that the child went to kindergarten absolutely calmly for the first time, but from the next day he began to throw tantrums. You may have assumed that you would have to endure complaints for a week or two, but now a month has passed, and the problem has remained. Psychologists advise to be patient - the adaptation period can take up to 3-4 months.

But, of course, this does not mean that you just need to wait - parents need to act. Your task is to find and eliminate the cause of discontent. If you cannot do this on your own, you need to contact an experienced child psychologist. The specialist will be able to "talk" the child or determine the source of the problem with the help of tests.

The solution to the problem, depending on the main problem, will be individual, but in any case, you should adhere to the following rules:

1. Provide the same daily routine (closer to the schedule in the kindergarten) throughout the week, including weekends (you can make small “indulgences”). If the tantrums drag on, sometimes arrange “vacations” - try to pick up the baby early for a while or arrange a “weekend” from kindergarten during the week.
2. Be patient with whims during adaptation - most likely, in this way the baby reacts to the increased psychological stress. Try to calm and distract the child with interesting activities.
3. Create a calm atmosphere at home - the child should know that everything is fine at home, they are loved, expected and always supported.
4. Never speak badly about the kindergarten and its employees in front of the baby, try to form a good attitude towards the kindergarten in him.
5. Establish relationships with teachers, take an interest in how the child behaves, how he communicates with other children, eats, sleeps, etc. The psychologist may recommend that parents at first spend several hours in the garden with the child.
6. To make it easier for the baby to adapt, give him some small toy with you that will remind you of home and mom.

In some cases, to eliminate such psychosomatic disorders as insomnia, anxiety, irritability, a child may be prescribed sedatives, for example, Tenoten for Children. The task of the doctor is to choose a remedy with good tolerance and a minimum of contraindications.

Kindergartens were created for the convenience of parents and the comprehensive development of children. Taking into account the constant employment of adults, children's institutions have received their wide demand. Perhaps some of us would refuse to use this option and leave the child with us for the whole day, but not everyone really has such an opportunity. The situation when a little man does not want to go to kindergarten, unfortunately, is not uncommon. And the reason lies not so much in the existing conflicts with anyone, but in the fact that the child simply lacks parental attention and warmth. He wants to spend more time with his mother, and she persistently escorts him to a strange aunt in a group. However, the options may be different. Below are actionable advice psychologist, with the help of which parents can understand the reasons for this behavior of the child.

Toddlers often throw tantrums in the morning, refusing to go to kindergarten. What to do if the situation is slowly but surely getting out of control? In any case, you should not get annoyed in response and try to force the baby to do what you expect from him. Listen to him, because he asks for your attention. The more you focus on yourself and everyday problems, the further you get from own child. If he has difficulties and does not want to go to the garden, then something is really wrong. Don't let the process drift. Take care of your baby's feelings.

Causes

If you take a closer look at your own offspring, you can find a lot of reasons for refusing to attend kindergarten. It seems to us, adults, that the baby is simply capricious and does not want to obey generally accepted norms. In fact, a child can really suffer, and behind the fact that he does not want to go to kindergarten, there is a serious problem.

Rough treatment

It is no secret that in modern children's institutions, kids are not always calm and comfortable. Yes, maybe no one really offends them there, but affectionate treatment is not found everywhere either. Educators and nannies today are forced to work for a very modest salary, which is why they have Bad mood which carries over to children. It can be very difficult to separate yourself from the situation you are in. Of course, there are no excuses for being rude to children. First of all, you need to keep human face and dignity. Not all people can open their hearts towards children, not everyone works according to their vocation. Sometimes people who don't like children go to work in kindergartens. A large number of children every day causes anger and irritation in such employees. Who suffers from this? Of course, children! Now imagine that among the whole group there is also your beloved child. Should a child from an early age endure disrespectful attitude, all sorts of insults? It's unfair! We, adults, force the baby to go to kindergarten, endure various inconveniences there. And then we conduct lengthy speeches about the fact that the child should see and receive all the best in life.

Moment of adaptation

If you just sent the baby to kindergarten, you should hardly be surprised that he cries there. After all, he has to change his usual environment, part with his mother for the whole day. Just think how scary that is! The home atmosphere warms and relaxes, while someone else's is alarming, frightening. The child simply cannot feel comfortable and easy in such a situation. Imagine that the most precious thing in life is taken away from you and forced to endure separation from your loved one for a long time. For a 2-3 year old baby time is running much slower than for us. An hour of separation for him may seem like an eternity, an insurmountable barrier. One can only guess what unprecedented suffering covers him when his mother seeks to leave as soon as possible.

Group conflicts

Children, like all other people, quarrel among themselves. Sometimes it can be quite difficult for them to agree due to age characteristics, they still do not know how to restrain emotions. If your child does not want to go to the garden, there must be an explanation for this. The advice of other parents is unlikely to come in handy, because everyone's situations are purely individual. Conflicts in the group can unsettle, create a negative attitude towards the kindergarten in general and form a persistent reluctance to go there. Is it necessary to say that children are sometimes extremely cruel towards each other? They do not tolerate the weak, are overly straightforward, express their thoughts aloud without embarrassment. A delicate and domestic child will always be a little uncomfortable among those who do not go into their pocket for a word.

Lack of parental attention

Not all children are surrounded by sufficient love and attention. It's not that their parents don't care about them. It's just that in the conditions of modern reality it is not always possible to find a free evening in order to communicate with your child, listen to him, show your feelings. There is such a factor as a banal lack of time. Unfortunately, in modern society people sometimes work so hard that there is simply no time and energy left for anything else. Some parents work from dawn to night and do not have the opportunity to spend much time with the baby. As a result, the child himself suffers: he feels lonely and abandoned. Such a baby can throw tantrums every morning and refuse to go to kindergarten.

How to be parents

Of course, each of us wishes only good for his precious offspring. No one wants to make the baby suffer, bring him additional grief. There are so many things in life that make us sad. What should caring moms and dads do? If it is impossible to reduce the working day, you will have to resort to tricks and come up with ways to stay with the baby longer. How to make him cry less and go to kindergarten with pleasure? To achieve this goal, you need to take a few simple steps.

Dosed approach

It is most reasonable to accustom the baby to kindergarten gradually. Do not rush to part with him in the foster group. It is better to leave the house a few minutes earlier and spend more time with him than to rush, rush and offend the child even more. If only mother knew how important this warm contact is for him, how he waits for her every evening after dinner! You should not leave the baby in the garden for a long time if he has not yet got used to the children's team, is not used to the group regime. For a baby, a lot of stress is generally separated from the mother, being away from a loved one. You can sometimes notice how newly arrived children refuse to do anything with everyone, cry and do not want to go to the group. Undoubtedly appetite and sleep suffer.

If your baby is going to kindergarten, try to introduce him to the group and the guys in advance. There is nothing complicated in this action: at first they leave it for no more than an hour in an environment unfamiliar to him, then the time is gradually added. So the child can quickly adapt to new conditions. When you can leave him for the whole day, he will already get used to it and will gladly go to play with his favorite toys.

Creating a calm environment

In order for a child to feel comfortable in the garden, it is necessary to make sure that at home he feels protected from everything in the world, understands that he is loved. Do not be afraid to spoil your baby, often say affectionate words to him. If the baby refuses to go to the group with everyone, pat him on the head, say that you will definitely pick him up in the evening. This will give him confidence and strength for the coming day, in order to spend it for the benefit of himself. Going to kindergarten for a baby is the same as for an adult to visit his workplace. Children every day are in a team that they cannot avoid, and they get very tired of each other. Sometimes it is enough to look at the child in the evening to understand this. The kid misses his parents and only dreams of finding himself next to loved ones as soon as possible.

At home, the baby should feel comfortable and at ease. Try to expand his living space as much as possible so that he can move freely around the rooms. During the day, he will accumulate energy that he wants to throw out. When children feel loved at home, they will go to kindergarten with pleasure. This phenomenon is explained by the fact that a favorable atmosphere has a positive effect on the psyche.

Resolving conflicts on time

All emerging difficulties must be clarified in a timely manner. In the event that resentment accumulates, it is difficult to maintain an adequate perception of the situation. People are so often subject to delusions and illusions. What can we say about a small child who is just beginning to live? In kindergarten, children may quarrel several times during the day, and this is completely normal. The child often worries about the unfair attitude of educators towards him. Be attentive to your child so as not to miss the first visible signs of trouble. If a child is often unfairly punished, be sure to find out why this is happening and stop all such attempts. A child should not tolerate insults from adults.

If you become aware that one of the children offends your baby, the matter should not be left to chance. Due to inaction, the child may think that everyone has abandoned him and no one is interested in him. The first thing a caring parent should do is try to protect the child from attacks from the offender. When it comes to children, you need to be more subtle. Go pick up the baby yourself, do not entrust this responsible task to anyone. Only in this way can you see the true picture and take some steps. It happens that a son or a daughter do not want to tell their mother about their social contacts. If the child is silent and does not share any experiences, this is not a good signal to take into account.

Don't let everything go by itself

It is much more convenient to pretend that you do not notice anything, that nothing serious is happening. We all, to one degree or another, tend to justify our own inaction. People often serve false values ​​instead of correcting their mistakes. If you notice something strange in the behavior of the child, you should not hope that everything will go away on its own. The kid always needs help in everything. Preschool children will not achieve great success if their parents do not support them in new endeavors. Some children know how to hide their mistakes, but they do it not as skillfully as adults. With babies, you must always be on the alert so as not to miss important changes in the development of consciousness.

Trusting relationship

Many parents ask what contributes to the establishment better contact with your own child? The answer is so obvious that everyone will understand: trusting relationship. Children should feel that mom and dad will always accept their choice. The child wants to feel safe at home and is in great need of parental protection and care. He will “check” with the help of his actions how much you love and accept him for who he is. Some parents do not withstand such serious tests, break down, clutch their heads, do not know what to do. All this can be avoided if you know how to approach your own child. Who better than parents should know and understand him best?

Joint walks, various activities and hobbies contribute to the development and formation of higher trust. Children should feel that adults understand and accept their individuality in everything. Try to allocate time for communication with the baby and, if possible, devote at least two hours daily. On weekends, you can take a walk in the park, participate in various contests, rides, go to the movies for a cartoon, eat delicious ice cream. Children are very fond of surprises and various family activities. Only in this way do they feel loved and in demand in their own family.

Pay more attention

The child must know that the parent will always remain by his side, no matter what act he does. This understanding is born from trust and is very expensive. Even if you have a lot of things to do on Monday and a disgruntled boss, put all your problems out of your head for the weekend and try to focus on interacting with your children as much as possible. It is necessary to pay due attention to everyone, find an individual approach to both your son and daughter. You yourself will be pleased when you see the shining eyes of your heirs, their contented, happy faces. If you spend enough time with the kids, pay attention to them daily, there should be no problems with going to kindergarten. Most often, children begin to suffer from a lack of parental attention. And when love and care are in abundance, it remains only to fully enjoy life. In addition, while relaxing with your children, you yourself can gain additional strength, recharge with the necessary energy.

Kindergarten to your liking

Today there are absolutely no restrictions in the choice educational institutions. You, as a parent, have a unique opportunity to decide which kindergarten to send your child to. Especially pretentious mom and dad can explore all possible rooms in advance in order to make their child's stay within the walls of the children's institution as convenient and comfortable as possible. Who cares about the benefits and development of the child, he will stop at the very the best option. No one limits parents in choosing a kindergarten for a baby. After all, it is so important to remain confident that he will be calm and comfortable there, like at home. Take the baby for a few days, see what his reaction to the environment will be. It may very well be that you will stop at some option that will completely suit you. If the child care facility is selected with love, and not at random, then the child will adapt much faster.

Thus, the problem when a child refuses to attend kindergarten has its own solution. No need to yell at the baby, force him to go to the group by force or influence in another negative way. You should always first try to understand the situation, to understand what drives your baby. It may very well be that, having found the true cause of the difficulty that has arisen, you want to radically change something and make the child's life as joyful and happy as possible.

With the situation when the child does not want to go to kindergarten, many parents are familiar firsthand. In some cases, problems arise already in the first days of visiting a preschool institution. In others, the baby suddenly begins to act up when it is necessary to go to the garden, despite the fact that he used to like it there.

There are parents who follow the lead of the kids and try to organize their leisure time at home, without even trying to delve into the causes of the problem. But for the most part, people still appreciate the convenience of social organization and are not ready to give them up, so they make every effort to identify and eliminate the factors that provoke inconvenience.

The main reasons why children refuse to attend kindergarten

The very first hysteria is not a reason to sort things out with the child or kindergarten teachers, especially if it is not motivated by anything. In the event of a recurrence of the situation, it is already worth considering possible reasons such developments. Most often, the problem is as follows:

• The child has difficulty communicating with other children. This can be provoked by the spoiledness of the child himself, his isolation or aggressiveness. In some cases, the presence of physical features or defects (glasses, stuttering, skin pigmentation, ethnic characteristics) plays a role.
• The child is not yet ready to attend kindergarten. If parents do not initially accustom their children to the regime, communication with other people, obedience, then they definitely will not be able to learn all this in a few days in the kindergarten. Quite the contrary, such things will be perceived by the baby with hostility, especially if everything was allowed to him before.

Tip: Do not delay the first visit to kindergarten. The smaller the baby, the faster his adaptation will pass. On average, it takes 3-4 days for a child to do this. But if you try to send a sleek and spoiled 5-year-old peanut into an unfamiliar environment, then the probability of problems is at least 90%.

• The kid had to go to a new kindergarten. A new environment is stressful for most children, even if they went to the first kindergarten with pleasure. This may be the result of their longing for friends and caregivers, or the difficulty of infusing into an already formed team.
• The child does not like the attitude of the teacher towards him. According to statistics, the reason for the refusal of toddlers to visit preschool institutions in 30% of cases is associated with the aggressiveness, authoritarianism or dryness of the teacher. It’s not that you don’t want to go to such a person, the child is just scared.
• Some children cannot get used to a new environment. Not as tasty as mom's food. Strict rules of conduct. Mandatory sleep at different times from home. All these factors put pressure on the child. If for several years he lived according to a special regime, then it is always difficult for him to rebuild.
• Strained relationships with parents, problems in the family. Sometimes it happens that children do not just not want to go to kindergarten, they just do not want to leave home. Problems within the family, parents' indifference to the baby or to each other, a recent divorce or the death of someone close are events that put pressure on the child's psyche from the inside, provoking depression. It also happens that it seems to children that if they are taken to kindergarten, then one day they simply will not be taken away.
• The child is strained by specific activities in the kindergarten. Often children are ready to give up all the pleasant moments associated with attending preschool because of just one annoying factor. For example, the teacher oversaturates the lessons with actions too much, and the kid simply does not have time to do everything. Sometimes the opposite happens - classes are boring or monotonous. Some kids can't stand kindergarten cuisine, and sometimes it's really hard to disagree with that.
• The baby lacks certain skills that other children have. If initially the parents did not set as their goal the self-development of the child, hoping that this is exactly what kindergarten teachers will do, a number of problems can be provoked in this regard. A newcomer cannot dress himself, tie a shoelace, brush his teeth, wash his hands ... All this causes ridicule or jokes from more independent children, injuring the child's psyche.
• Individual features of the development of babies. Today, pediatricians are increasingly diagnosing developmental features in young patients. If with some of them the child can safely attend a regular kindergarten group, then with others it will be necessary to consider the option of placing him in a specialized institution.

In most cases, it is absolutely useless to directly ask children why they refuse to attend kindergarten. Often they themselves do not suspect what the reason is. Here you will either have to connect all your powers of observation and the skills of a psychologist, or go to a specialized specialist.

Verbal form of protest and hysteria

Children rarely try to hide the fact that attending kindergarten does not give them pleasure. Most often, they use verbal protests as a weapon, but they can manifest themselves in different ways:

1. The kid calmly, for example, before going to bed, talks about what happened today in the group, imperceptibly showing discontent or aggression towards the situation. In this case, you just need to wait until he forgets about what happened and do not focus on the problem, unless, of course, his stories and complaints are repeated with enviable regularity.
2. Negative information falls out on the parents in the morning, during the preparations for the kindergarten. It is accompanied by convulsive protests, tears, screams. It is often difficult to understand the meaning of such an outburst, the child does not give any arguments. With such a development of events, it is better to be late for kindergarten, but wait until the baby calms down to try to sort out the situation. It is likely that the little one just hurts or becomes intoxicated against the background of a cold, and he simply cannot put it into words.

An extreme form of protest is hysteria. During such attacks, children do not notice anything around, do not respond to attempts to calm them down. They can literally beat their heads against the floor and wall, not noticing the pain, injuring themselves. This state cannot be accidental. Either the reason why the child refuses to go to the kindergarten is really good, or the baby has some kind of failure in terms of mental or emotional development. It is better not to risk it, and go with him to an appointment with a psychologist, psychotherapist, neurologist.

Hidden forms of protest

At a slightly older age, children already understand that going to kindergarten is something like their duty, so they do not always express their protests openly. Parents are advised to pay increased attention to children whose behavior is characterized by the following features:

• When going to kindergarten, the child is obviously playing for time, trying to postpone leaving the house as much as possible.
• Uses all his boundless imagination to come up with a day off without a kindergarten. Fictional illnesses, bad weather, an interesting movie on TV, a dog's illness, a visit from a grandmother and much more are used.
• In the morning, the baby, although he does not openly show his unwillingness to leave the house, is in a depressed mood. In the evenings, he rejoices when he is taken away and tries to leave the institution as soon as possible. This is repeated day after day.
• If a scene arises in games that involves going to kindergarten, the baby develops it with a conflicting or tragic bias. When drawing kindergarten, caregivers or group friends, children can use dark tones or aggressive shading.
• The child begins to suffer from insomnia and loss of appetite.

If at least one of the listed factors is found, you should not rush to take the crumbs from the habitable institution and transfer it to a new one. This does not always help solve the problem. First you need to understand the reason for the development of such a situation. It is possible that everything will be resolved quickly and painlessly.

How to find out the reason for the refusal?

Identifying the annoying factor is already half the battle. To get to the point faster, you can use the following rules and recommendations:

• First of all, you need to talk with the child, but naturally, in between times. When taking him out of the kindergarten, you should ask how the baby's day went, what he learned new today, with whom he talked. In 80% of cases, this is enough to find out the cause of the situation.

Tip: It happens that children try to tell their parents about their problems by projecting situations onto other people. For example, the boy Kolya tells every day that the second boy Kolya is offended in the group. In fact, there may not be such a child in the kindergarten at all.

• You can also talk to the teacher. Calmly, without pretensions, even on abstract topics. It is during empty conversations that parents often learn a lot about their children, their environment, and the educator himself.
• It is worth talking with other parents of children from the kindergarten. If there are not isolated cases of refusal of babies in the group, it is worth organizing a meeting and trying to figure out the situation together.
• Quite a clear picture is given by the results of psychological tests. The simplest option is for a child to create a drawing of his garden. Use by a small artist bright colors indicates his positive attitude towards the institution, dark - negative. It is also worth asking your child to portray a teacher, other children from the group.

In addition, you can ask the teacher to show the crafts made by the baby, the results of the classes. It is worth comparing them with the products of other children. If the difference is obvious, and it is not in favor of the child, it is worth working with him at home additionally.

The right approach to eliminate adverse factors

It is necessary to act depending on the type of reason that provokes the situation. The main thing is to do everything gently, without pressure. The child does not even need to know why certain manipulations are being carried out, otherwise he can only fence himself off from help more strongly.

• Children who have problems in communicating with other children need to be more actively introduced into various groups. Frequent walks, games on playgrounds, trips to amusement parks, swimming pools or water parks will liberate the baby and increase his level of social activity.
• You should not always indulge the baby in everything, try to pamper him. We must not forget that, considering themselves democratic parents, many people fundamentally stifle the independence of the child, his responsibility to others.
• Today, the situation with kindergartens is such that soon after the birth of a baby, one has to queue for a group. There is a positive point in this - you can understand in advance what schedule children live in the garden and project it onto your baby. This allows children to quickly and painlessly adapt to new conditions.
• Subordination and respect for the demands of older children must be taught from an early age.
• If the problem is the low qualification of the staff, from which all the children in the group suffer, it is not necessary to transfer your child, it is better to consult with other parents and achieve the appointment of more professionally savvy people to positions.
• It is necessary to change the garden in case of a personal conflict between the child and the teacher, if it cannot be resolved peacefully.

If possible, it is worth watching the child while he is in the group. It may get answers to all questions and fail, but the picture will become clearer.

The importance of timely detection and elimination of pathologies

One of the reasons why children are reluctant to attend kindergarten is that they have developmental features that make them stand out from the crowd. Parents should remember that:

1. If the baby's burr or stutter seems cute to them, and they believe that the children will outgrow it, then this will give other children a reason for teasing and ridicule. Any deviations from the norm should be treated in a timely manner and only under the supervision of a specialist.
2. The presence of a number of pathologies (cerebral palsy, Down's syndrome, autism, oligophrenia, hearing and vision impairments) implies the transfer of the child to a specialized institution. You should not insist that the baby should develop in a group with ordinary children; in a specialized kindergarten, he will be more comfortable and calmer.
3. Increased emotionality and sensitivity is not a reason to lock a child behind seven locks and transfer to home education. You just need to visit a psychologist and consult with him about relaxation therapy.

In addition, every little man should be protected from stress as much as possible. You do not need to make him a witness to quarrels between parents, even if they are domestic and frivolous. Any little thing can be deposited in the children's subconscious.

Things that are strictly prohibited

Despite the fact that the approach to each baby should be individual, parents often make the same mistakes, trying to find a way out of the situation. There are tricks and manipulations, resorting to which is not recommended:

1. It makes no sense to scold children, their nerves are already on the limit. Upbringing in harsh tones will only exacerbate the situation.
2. No need to resort to bribery. Promising gifts in return for going to kindergarten will only lead to the fact that the baby will understand how easy it is to get what he wants with the help of tantrums.
3. If everything possible is done to solve the problem, and the child continues to act up out of habit, you will have to learn to show firmness at the sight of a sweet, tearful face.
4. The option with an attempt to go to the kindergarten every other day does not work. The kid will soon get used to it and it will be difficult for him to explain that you need to visit the institution every day.

With all this, one cannot completely ignore the whims of the guys without trying to understand the situation. Do not lie to children, promising that today is a short day and they will be picked up in an hour or two. So they simply stop believing in all adults and withdraw into themselves.