What happens if you are sad for a long time? Why do you always want to cry? How to distinguish depression from bad mood

Good afternoon, Aigul.
27 years. Almaty.
I very often have a feeling of overwhelming sadness and longing. At such moments, I not only experience a certain physical weakness (especially in my arms), but also a feeling that my brain stops functioning normally. It's like I'm stuck. Nothing worries me, I become absolutely indifferent to everything and everyone. Indifference and apathy turn me into an irritated and unsociable person. There are days when, on the contrary, I crave communication, walks, dancing, etc. But, the next day after the fun, everything comes back... A feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself. With your life. All that surrounds me. Literally, I see no reason to live, to exist on this small planet. It seems to me that I think too much about life, death, about man as a living being, which, in fact, is absolutely useless in a global sense.
I would really like to be a positive, kind of cheerful girl. Be interested in fashion magazines, salons, guys, careers, etc. This, of course, is all there in my life now, I just don’t devote myself to it, like many NORMAL girls in general. Probably, the lack of natural coquetry and 100 percent femininity affects the fact that I do not have long-term relationships with guys.
I don’t consider myself abnormal, of course, it’s just that a lot of things in the surrounding space, in the people around me (familiar and unfamiliar) infuriate me. When you say such thoughts out loud, you try to open up, they look at you with despondency. And this also infuriates me. Sometimes I want to shout to everyone around me - you are all pathetic, useless creatures who are fixated on material details and quality of life. You don’t think about anything else except money, external beauty and stupid bragging. Is it really that important? – I want to ask. We are given some 80-90 years of life, and what is this time spent on? Then there will be emptiness. Nothing material.
I feel bad, I don’t have enough air, but according to the laws of society and society, I must, simply must, smile and be super friendly. I have become a terrible hypocrite. This also upsets me. I smile and communicate as if the person in front of me is interested and important to me. And so I want to say, you know, I DO NOT CARE – about you, and about your life, your problems. Because you are not from my tribe. You don't know me, and even if you do, you'll never understand. Never. There is not a single person whom I consider to be the only one who understands me 100 percent. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances, we have fun together, but I am very lonely.
I’m like a wind-up bunny, I perform certain actions every day, almost automatically. But there is such emptiness inside me. I feel nothing but sadness. It seems to me that if I see a person dying on my way, I can just pass by without even looking. And so I ask myself (and you) can indifference and apathy turn a person into such a soulless creature as I often imagine myself to be?
I cry often. Especially when the feeling of loneliness overwhelms me, and when the sense of meaning in everything is lost...
Tell me, what's wrong with me? Will psychotherapy help me? I just doubt it now, because essentially everything is clear to me: what problems I have, and that I myself can change everything. That we need to change, try to be better.. But, I want to know why this happens? And what will happen to me next... After all, over the years, overcoming something becomes even more difficult.
Thank you.

Sometimes a person feels completely unhappy and it begins to affect his whole life. There can be many reasons - job loss, psychological trauma, bereavement, or financial difficulties... However, if you do nothing about your condition, fighting depression will become more and more difficult.

Doing something if you are very sad is not an easy task. After all, depression takes away the strength and hope that are necessary for action. So perhaps you will put off dealing with it until a certain point. But if you are willing to do something, there are many things that can help you overcome this condition.

Complete rest.

Take a day off. Or a week of vacation. Go on vacation. Go to bed at nine in the evening and sleep as much as necessary. Whatever you need to do, provide yourself with quality rest, and then make it regular, not periodic.

Have a good cry.

You can often notice how small children get upset easily, cry, but then quickly come to their senses. normal state. This approach can work for adults too. In our culture, people are often taught that crying is a sign of weakness. But it is not so. There is nothing wrong with tears, because they allow you to connect with your feelings, “let off steam,” and receive support. Allowing yourself to cry into a pillow or on the shoulder of a trusted friend will help you get rid of the accumulated negativity.

Master the practice of gratitude.

Notice things for which you could say “thank you” to God, the Universe, or a higher power. Having learned to notice the good in your own life, over time you will overcome the negative thoughts that arise by inertia, replacing them with brighter ones. Negative thoughts only plunge a person further into a whirlpool of troubles, where he does not know what to do or what to do. If you are sad and want to cry, gratitude for what you already have in life will help you avoid further immersion in this harmful funnel of negativity.

A gentle massage can release tension in your muscles, helping your entire body relax. The services of salon masters can be an expensive pleasure. However, even if you ask a friend to stretch your neck a little, this will significantly reduce the tension.

Keeping records.

If you like to write, this method can also serve you to get rid of negative feelings. Every day, write down what is happening to you and your feelings about it. This way you can give vent to your emotions and put your thoughts in order.

Cut down on your responsibilities.

It is possible that you feel sad and helpless because you have taken on too much. So just stop doing any of these things! Of course, all this is much easier said than done - hiring a nanny for a child, or finding new job with fewer hours. But you must understand that you are doing this solely for yourself. The effect of such “unloading” will not be long in coming.

Talk to people.

Those who ask themselves the question: “What to do if you’re sad?” sometimes get so deep into introspection that they forget about real communication with others. Meanwhile, isolation only contributes to even greater depression.

Try to find those people in whose presence you will be yourself. For example, you can attend certain courses, or any communities of interest. By overcoming social isolation, you can also overcome feelings of sadness.

You can get out of the state of melancholy and apathy if you learn to regularly do what makes sense to you personally. Ask yourself, what is important to you? What will you get if you achieve this? How can your life change?

Change your daily routine.

Slowly but surely, you can eliminate those daily activities that drain your energy and replace them with enjoyable ones. Remember: every person deserves to live his or her best life. better life, which you can only imagine, and our life consists of everyday little things.

The last piece of advice applies to those who are exposed to extreme emotional stress. If you are one of these people, remember that in this case you need the help of a psychologist. A specially trained person will help you identify the true causes of stress and identify strategies that will help you cope with it.

Throughout life, we must be attentive to the signals that the body sends us. If you find that your workload is beyond your capacity, remember that there are actions you can take to change the situation now and in the future.

Hello. Please advise me to solve the problem. I don’t know how to accurately describe my condition, but I just can’t figure out whether my self-esteem is too high or too low. In any case, this greatly interferes with my life. I am constantly in a state of anxiety, dissatisfaction with myself and life. I am constantly sad and it is difficult for my loved ones to communicate with me, as I become rude, cynical and simply angry. I am ashamed in front of my parents and sister, but my character is deteriorating, I think that my friends and acquaintances will soon run away, since my behavior is terrible. The fact is that I have a whole list of problems or, if you can say, deviations in thinking. 1) I constantly try to hide any information about myself. I don’t like to show my emotions to my loved ones; I think if I show or tell anything, I’ll get in trouble. I don't trust my parents and I don't want to tell them anything. I'm afraid of this. 2. Recently I was at a friendly party where I didn’t know many people. I’ve been sad for 2 days now, and I realized that this is because little attention was paid to me. I get very upset when people in a company/just in a conversation/at an event are not interested in me, pay little attention to me, etc. This will sound stupid, but I constantly need recognition, to laugh at my jokes, to listen and listen. If this is not there, then I become anxious or just sad. I know it's funny, but I think I have delusions of grandeur and it bothers me. 3. I am very shy (despite all this!) and shy. I shake with horror every time I need to express myself or speak out. It doesn’t matter where - at the university to answer a class, to talk with friends, to talk to strangers, just even in personal communication. I'm constantly worried, my hands even sweat when I'm getting ready to say something. Because of this, I quickly get tired mentally and I already want to just be alone and just be silent. 4. I don’t have good relationships with guys and I have complexes. I’m very picky, and the guys who like me don’t pay attention to me. I'm getting depressed again. It was like this even at school, it’s just that boys never really liked me, I didn’t even develop friendly relations. And I always wanted to. It seems to me that I just don’t know how to behave with the opposite sex. I withdraw into myself very quickly after the first failure. 5. I am terribly suspicious, it seems to me that this one didn’t think so about me, this one looked badly at me, that everyone hates me, sometimes it seems to me that my relatives and friends at the university specifically want to make fun of me, to dine me. I feel like the world is against me. 6. I hate myself, it started 5 years ago, when I was 13 years old. Now I’m 18, and I still feel like a nobody, I belittle my merits, I objectively understand that everything is fine with me - I seem to be smart, I can be sociable, pretty, well, no worse than others. But my well-being, my sensations DO NOT CHANGE. I just don’t value myself at all, I don’t recognize myself, I engage in self-flagellation... I’ve been dealing with all these problems for a very long time, it really interferes with living and enjoying myself, I’m constantly tired, I have no energy, I’m eaten up by my own negativity. Please help, advise, I’m afraid to be left alone because of my terrible character, I don’t want to be like this all my life, I just can’t stand this hell!!! Sincerely.

When they tell us that someone has depression, we imagine a person in a bad mood who sees the world around him in black terms. Indeed, with depression a person loses interest in life and work. He feels that longing and sadness are squeezing his chest and he constantly wants to cry. Today, depression is one of the most common women's diseases.

Unfortunately, to depressed woman those around you are not always understanding. They often accept this disease as a manifestation of laziness, selfishness, improper upbringing and natural pessimism. Meanwhile, depression is a disease that requires the intervention of psychotherapists and is highly treatable. The sooner treatment for depression is started, the greater the chance that the disease will not take on severe forms, accompanied by abuse of alcohol, drugs, and even the desire to commit suicide.

Remember depression- this is a serious illness, not just a bad mood. If you do not recognize it in time and do not slow it down, then it can develop and bring suffering not only to the patient himself, but also to his loved ones. To distinguish depression from bad mood, answer the questions of the test by American psychotherapist Williams Zang.

1. How often do you feel like crying?
a) I never cry without a serious reason - 1 point; b) I cry only after quarrels - 2 points; c) I cry every time I feel sorry for myself or someone else - 3 points; d) I cry constantly, tears are very close to me - 4 points.

2. How do you sleep at night?
a) never waking up - 1 point; b) if I get very upset, I can’t sleep - 2 points;
c) I fall asleep and sleep poorly - 3 points; d) I constantly suffer from insomnia - 4 points.

3. What is your mood in the morning?
a) I always wake up in a great mood - 1 point; b) bad, only if there are problems - 2 points; c) I am rarely kind and cheerful in the morning - 3 points; d) I can’t even imagine what to be happy about in the morning - 4 points.

4. Do you feel tired?
a) no, I feel cheerful even after work - 1 point; b) I get tired only after work - 2 points; c) I often feel tired even during the day - 3 points; d) I have no strength since the morning - 4 points.

5. Do you like to do housework?
a) they bring me joy - 1 point; b) I only like to cook, but washing and cleaning irritate me - 2 points; c) I cook and clean only according to my mood - 3 points; c) all household chores irritate me - 4 points.

6. How easily do you make decisions?
a) I almost always make decisions - 1 point; b) sometimes I need someone’s advice - 2 points; c) I rarely have to make a decision - 3 points; d) why should I make decisions and take responsibility - 4 points.

7. How often do you feel sad and depressed?
a) occasionally - 1 point; b) only when I am alone (alone) - 2 points; c) often - 3 points; d) almost always - 4 points.

8. Do you consider yourself a happy person?
a) yes - 1 point; b) sometimes I am unhappy - 2 points; c) I often feel unhappy (unhappy) - 3 points; d) I don’t know what happiness is - 4 points.

9. Do you like to communicate with loved ones as before?
a) for me there is no better pleasure than communicating with loved ones - 1 point; b) only when I am in the mood - 2 points; c) often I don’t want to hear from anyone - 3 points; d) they all irritate me - 4 points.

Depression is a serious condition characterized by mood swings, despondency, and causeless sadness. In 2016 alone, more than 16 million Americans experienced these feelings at least once. Even if a person does not suffer from ordinary depression, he probably notices how his mood sometimes deteriorates in the evening. This often results in insomnia or sleep problems. He lashes out at his family or, conversely, withdraws into himself and can sit and stare at the wall for an hour. Photo: shutterstock.com There are several reasons for evening sadness. Firstly, banal fatigue. After a busy day, people sometimes feel overwhelmed and empty - and this is normal. The brain gives a signal that it is time to stop, lie down and rest. Secondly, there are fewer events going on in the evening. A person works all day, chats with colleagues, plans things, listens to podcasts while riding the subway. In general, there is no time to be sad. And in the evening he appears free time to delve into yourself, think about problems and do other unpleasant things. Thirdly, disrupted routine and bad habits greatly undermine the nervous system. Drinking a glass of alcohol or coffee after work increases the likelihood that you will be suddenly attacked by sadness at home.

Rumination often leads to a bad mood in the evening. In psychology, this is what they call “chewing mental cud,” that is, endlessly replaying past events in the head. For example, difficult situation that happened the day before, or an unpleasant dialogue that ended in defeat for you. You can overcome rumination only with the help of awareness. Allow yourself to feel, but don't get caught up in the emotions.

How to prevent evening sadness

Photo: shutterstock.com Take a walk with friends. After work, instead of sitting in a cafe, go for a walk in the park or look at paintings in a museum. If your friends are busy, invite your parents for a walk together.

Go to the cinema. Only for a positive film. Drama or horror won't do.

Don't drink alcohol or coffee at night. These drinks excite the nervous system, and in the evening it needs calm. It's no secret that caffeine can make it difficult to fall asleep - if this sounds like you, try to drink your last cup of coffee no later than 15-16 hours. Photo: shutterstock.com Turn off all luminous gadgets two hours before bedtime. In 2009, scientists from Pittsburgh proved that artificially saturated light disrupts circadian rhythms and can contribute to depression. Your social media feed is here to stay - look at it in the morning.

Keep a list of “things I praise myself for.” Almost every person has endless lists of to-dos and tasks, but people rarely praise themselves. Try to write down three things every night that you are proud of. This will help you realize your own worth and reduce feelings of guilt, if any.

Don't do anything. When you feel that your strength is running out - both moral and physical - just lie down and rest. Put away gadgets, books and thoughts of productivity. The better quality of rest you have, the less likely it is that you will be attacked by causeless sadness. And the next day you will have more strength to conquer the world. Related articles Words most often used by people with depression Anxiety disorders: symptoms, causes, prevention 15 thoughts you can’t believe if you have depression How I overcame depression and fell in love with myself: the story of Natalia Patrakova

Entry “I am always sad in the evening. Everything is fine with me?" first appeared on The-Challenger.ru.